oselle: (Default)
Sometimes I want to start a Twitter account just so I can blast you with the meaningless tidbits that preoccupy me during the day but don't seem to warrant an entire LJ post. Like today, it was humid in my apartment and my couch really stank. I could've just Tweeted, Wow, my couch stinks today. PU.

But I couldn't tell you that without telling you WHY the couch stinks. Or exactly HOW it stinks. Or the failures of Febreeze and similar "fabric refreshers" to CONTROL the stink. And I can't do all of that in 140 characters or less! I'm a storyteller, goddamnit! I'm a fucking artist! I don't believe in this Twittershit. I need at least a thousand words to fully express the heartrending, epic and unforgettable saga of my malodorous couch!

Philistines. I'm too good for all of you.
oselle: (Prince Nurse)
As long as I'm in a venting mood, here's my last word on Episode 5:09... )

Fantasy

Dec. 2nd, 2008 07:25 pm
oselle: (Default)
I don't think it's much of a revelation to say that most magazines are in the business of selling fantasy, but every once in a while a particularly startling example leaps out at me.

I was leafing through the latest edition of Country Home and they profiled a woman -- described as a registered nurse -- who had retired and moved to Maine and built her dream house.

Now, in the article they also mention that she raised six children. There's no mention of a wealthy late husband or whether any of those six children are supporting mom, but let me tell you -- there is NO WAY this retired woman could live the way she does on a nurse's pension and savings. I have a retired registered nurse living next door to me and she can barely afford her prescriptions every month.

My favorite part of the article is when she describes herself as "not rich," citing cutting her own hair and not buying new clothes as examples of this thrift. The page right before that was extolling the virtues of the "double Viking stoves" in her state-of-the-art kitchen. I'm sorry but...there is no such thing as a "not rich" person who can afford not one but TWO Viking stoves.

I have to wonder who these magazines are for. Could even...10% of that magazine's audience afford to live like this woman? And what does it do to your head when you open these magazines and see supposedly ordinary people with humble jobs who live in gorgeously outfitted, storybook homes that ordinary you with your humble job could never, ever afford? I would love it if for once, these magazines would just come out and say, "So-and-so was a nurse for 30 years but her husband was an Exxon executive who left her $50 million in his will." A little honesty would be nice. It's really unfair to keep duping people into thinking that the lifestyles they depict are attainable.

Oh, speaking of magazines. I left my new job and went back to the old one. And we shall never, ever speak of this again. As far as I'm concerned I've been in a coma or something. It all just...never happened.

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January 2012

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