SPN 6:14: Mannequin 3

[oselle]

Yeah, I know "The Cringing" wasn't the real title, but it sorta fits.

Based on the first 15 minutes or so, I thought we were in for a decent old-fashioned MoTW episode. A little bloody, a little creepy (those anatomy dummies have always freaked me out), the rather adorable reappearance of the EMF monitor.

Then all of a sudden...oh God...I'm in Lisa Braeden's living room watching her and Dean hash out their domestic issues against a soundtrack of sappy strings. I'm in Ben's bedroom listening to an eleven-year-old lecture Dean on the meaning of family. More sappy strings. And then OH GOD IN HEAVEN WHY GOD WHY I'm actually sitting there watching a montage -- A MONTAGE!!! -- of Dean-n-Lisa's Greatest Moments that was as laughably maudlin as anything I've ever seen on daytime TV...no no no, it was MORE laughably maudlin because I expect to see that shit on daytime TV.

Oh lord...I went into a full-body cringe. Literally, I was huddled up on the couch in a fetal position. Even my toes cramped in on each other.

If not for that I'd be ranting about how Sam basically let two murderers get off scot free (There were four guys who pranked that girl, weren't there? And only two were killed by the ghost?). I'd also be ranting about how disgusting it was for Sam to apparently have no intention of telling that woman what had happened to her sister, and to let her go on thinking that she was just missing, not lying charbroiled in a shallow grave somewhere in New Jersey. I thought Sam got his soul back? What?

Or I might be talking about how that dummy on the bed didn't look much like a sex doll. Real sex dolls always have their mouths open.

Or I might be laughing over how funny Jensen looks when he runs because that never fails to crack me up. It must be those fuckin bowlegs of his. He runs like George Costanza.

But no...I can't talk about any of that because of THE MONTAGE. THE MONTAGE OF HORRIBLE SAPPY CRAPPY WTF MAKE IT STOP HORRIBLENESS. And THE STRINGS. And THE PARENT TRAP. And OHMYGODKILLMENOW!!!!!!!!

C-R-I-N-G-E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then just as I was getting unkinked, THE GODAWFUL PREVIEW of next week's GODAWFUL META EPISODE came on and I pretzeled up again. I actually felt my bowels shrivel. My friggin sphincter tried to crawl up into my intestines. By next Saturday I'm gonna need to spend two hours on a massage table getting rolfed out so I can stand up straight again. I'll probably need an enema too just to get my works moving. I plan to send the bill directly to Sera Gamble.

Comments

[shoofus.livejournal.com]

amen. i think a stake in the heart of the show is about the only solution now...no, i think it got staked already and we are watching the death paroxysms...

[oselle.livejournal.com]

Salt and burn that motherfucker. It's done.

[shoofus.livejournal.com]

the stake was castiel denouncing sam's soul as something broken and flayed and not worth salvaging...that was the stake in the heart of this show, and bobby agreeing with that...because there is no integrity, no point, no meaning to this 'rebooted' reality where sam's soul is worth nothing and a soul less 'meat suit' zombie means more to an angel and to the surrogate father of those boys than his soul did...

bah, what a pile of steaming shit this show is becoming...

seriously, justified was clean and so grown up and subtly powerful compared to this empty cartoonish crap here...

[oselle.livejournal.com]

Yesterday's episode of One Life to Live was grown up and subtly powerful compared to this. Actually, no it wasn't. They were about on a par with each other.