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Nov. 25th, 2007 09:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
oselleI've been watching Smallville Season Four all weekend for the proto-Deanness of Jason Teague and this time I'm really watching it and several things occur to me.
First, that Jason Teague is even better the second time around and looks gorgeous in a white button-down shirt and has fantastic chemistry with John Glover, who plays passive-aggressive psycho extraordinaire, Lionel Luther. I pretty much have to pause every scene that Jason's in, including the opening credits where he's making a fabulous knitted-brow angstface.
Second, is that we get cheated in the Chinese prison scene by not getting to see how Jason came to be so bloody. Yes, we do get to see him electrocuted but that doesn't draw blood, now does it? I do terribly enjoy seeing him dragged off down dark, dank hallways though.
Third, is that I simply cannot help thinking of a memorable Christopher Walken scene from Pulp Fiction when Jason tells Lana how he smuggled that very pointy artifact out of China. Oh, you mailed it to yourself, now did you, Jason? I think not. I can't even watch that scene with a straight face.
Fourth, what the fuck is up with that Luther mansion that anyone and everyone can just barge into it, unannounced, anytime they like? In almost every episode someone is just barging into the Luther mansion...Clark, Lana, Jason, Lois. I think Chloe waltzes in at least once, too. I don't think billionaires have such lousy security that a horde of local nosy teens is perpetually traipsing through the Luther's study.
Fifth, I love how the Luther study is the only room we ever see in the house. Everything happens there, because it's clearly the only "Luther mansion" set that they have. So when Lana needs to wash blood off her hands, she's doing it in a bowl in the study, not in a proper sink. And when Lionel Luther needs to be cutting up some fruit for his cocktails, he's doing it...yep, in the study, not in the kitchen. I'd like to think this is billionaire eccentricity but it's really paucity of sets.
Sixth, the writers for this show have some serious Oedipal issues. There's Jason and his evil, busy-hands Mom, there's Lex picking up one-night stand brunettes who, we're informed, remind him of his mother, and there's posessed Ma Kent asking Clark out to the prom. Egads!
Finally, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THIS TOWN? Who knew Kansas was such a hotbed of crazy that spiritual possessions, sudden amnesia, soul-switching and high-school students who jet off to Shanghai for the weekend to pursue mysterious artifacts are just a part of the local landscape. Gotta wonder what the conversations at the Elks Club revolve around. This show is less sci-fi and more soap opera, because every since Luke and Laura foiled the evil weather machine on General Hospital back in the 80s, the soaps have been full of all kinds of freaky supernatural and ludicrous conspiracy stuff like this, not just the routine romances and betrayals that they used to be about. It's little wonder Jensen Ackles can convincingly pull off all those ridiculous lines about "the Countess Isobel" with a straight face, considering he cut his acting teeth on Days of Our Lives, which, I believe, once sent the entire town back in time for a week. No wait, I think that was One Life to Live, but I'm sure Days did something equally ridiculous, and those Bradys were always attracting trouble.
I need to do a list of the S4 episodes that you need to watch for Jason, to spare you from the rest of the show. No matter what else is going on, Jason is totally worth it!!
First, that Jason Teague is even better the second time around and looks gorgeous in a white button-down shirt and has fantastic chemistry with John Glover, who plays passive-aggressive psycho extraordinaire, Lionel Luther. I pretty much have to pause every scene that Jason's in, including the opening credits where he's making a fabulous knitted-brow angstface.
Second, is that we get cheated in the Chinese prison scene by not getting to see how Jason came to be so bloody. Yes, we do get to see him electrocuted but that doesn't draw blood, now does it? I do terribly enjoy seeing him dragged off down dark, dank hallways though.
Third, is that I simply cannot help thinking of a memorable Christopher Walken scene from Pulp Fiction when Jason tells Lana how he smuggled that very pointy artifact out of China. Oh, you mailed it to yourself, now did you, Jason? I think not. I can't even watch that scene with a straight face.
Fourth, what the fuck is up with that Luther mansion that anyone and everyone can just barge into it, unannounced, anytime they like? In almost every episode someone is just barging into the Luther mansion...Clark, Lana, Jason, Lois. I think Chloe waltzes in at least once, too. I don't think billionaires have such lousy security that a horde of local nosy teens is perpetually traipsing through the Luther's study.
Fifth, I love how the Luther study is the only room we ever see in the house. Everything happens there, because it's clearly the only "Luther mansion" set that they have. So when Lana needs to wash blood off her hands, she's doing it in a bowl in the study, not in a proper sink. And when Lionel Luther needs to be cutting up some fruit for his cocktails, he's doing it...yep, in the study, not in the kitchen. I'd like to think this is billionaire eccentricity but it's really paucity of sets.
Sixth, the writers for this show have some serious Oedipal issues. There's Jason and his evil, busy-hands Mom, there's Lex picking up one-night stand brunettes who, we're informed, remind him of his mother, and there's posessed Ma Kent asking Clark out to the prom. Egads!
Finally, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THIS TOWN? Who knew Kansas was such a hotbed of crazy that spiritual possessions, sudden amnesia, soul-switching and high-school students who jet off to Shanghai for the weekend to pursue mysterious artifacts are just a part of the local landscape. Gotta wonder what the conversations at the Elks Club revolve around. This show is less sci-fi and more soap opera, because every since Luke and Laura foiled the evil weather machine on General Hospital back in the 80s, the soaps have been full of all kinds of freaky supernatural and ludicrous conspiracy stuff like this, not just the routine romances and betrayals that they used to be about. It's little wonder Jensen Ackles can convincingly pull off all those ridiculous lines about "the Countess Isobel" with a straight face, considering he cut his acting teeth on Days of Our Lives, which, I believe, once sent the entire town back in time for a week. No wait, I think that was One Life to Live, but I'm sure Days did something equally ridiculous, and those Bradys were always attracting trouble.
I need to do a list of the S4 episodes that you need to watch for Jason, to spare you from the rest of the show. No matter what else is going on, Jason is totally worth it!!
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no subject
Date: 2007-11-26 06:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-26 08:15 pm (UTC)I can only manage one episode a day, it's so bad it makes my teeth itch. I keep thinking character/plot/logic must have been covered in previous season but, oh no, my my 9 year old assures me that what it's always like that.
It makes no sense.
They have a dog with super powers. I rest my case.
The thing that finally made me laugh out loud? They're all supposed to be virgins!?!?!?!?? Just... wtf???
no subject
Date: 2007-11-26 09:18 pm (UTC)PARDON ME, darling, but Dark Angel had a DOG-MAN and that is ever so much worse than a dog with super powers. And the dog only had super-powers briefly!
They're all supposed to be virgins!?!?!?!??
I didn't even bother mentioning this because it's too ludicrous for words. Actually, I think only Clark and Lana are supposed to be virgins, because they're saving themselves for each other or some shit. AS IF you could spend three months in PARIS with JASON TEAGUE and willingly preserve your maidenhead. PLEASE. I'd've been doing him on the freaking SIDEWALK. Like, the minute I met him.
I'll do my list. Then you'll know what to watch.
no subject
Date: 2007-11-26 09:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-26 10:10 pm (UTC)Not liked as in liked but he was sweet and harmless and... all right, so he was damned stupid, all of Dark Angel was damned stupid but at least it made sense.
Sense? Erm....
More sense than Smallville anyway.
3 months in Paris with Jason and now she's practically living with him and still a virgin??? Girl needs her head examined. How old is she meant to be anyway? How old are any of them? I thought half were teachers not students.
Clark is 17/18? Yeah right, and I'm 21.
Jensen is awfully pretty in it though!
no subject
Date: 2007-11-27 12:23 am (UTC)Everyone except Jason, Lex and Lois is supposed to be in high school, but they all look, and act, so much older that seeing them fret over the prom and the yearbook is positively surreal.
My favorite was when Clark and Lana took off to Shanghai. Umm...do these "kids" not have homework? It's SO STUPID but in a good sort of way. I have to admit that Smallville is a hell of a pretty show. Not just the cast, but the sets and everything. They even manage to catch some sunny weather in Canada -- at least, the Kent farm is habitually bathed in sunshine.
On the commentaries for Dark Angel, the writers say that Alec and Dogboy had such good chemistry that they joked about doing a spinoff called A Dog and His Boy. I'd have watched it!!
no subject
Date: 2007-11-27 03:08 pm (UTC)On the commentaries for Dark Angel, the writers say that Alec and Dogboy had such good chemistry that they joked about doing a spinoff called A Dog and His Boy. I'd have watched it!!
Me too. See, I'm not the only one, Alec/Jensen liked Dogboy as well. I am in good company! :-)
You listened to the commentaries? You glutton for punishment. Having said that I listened to the first Smallville one. Clark's mum said really nice things about Jensen, he really does seem to be an all-round good guy.
no subject
Date: 2007-11-28 12:25 am (UTC)Jensen Ackles is perfect. Everything he does, he does wonderfully. He's gorgeous, smart, funny, incredibly talented and a joy to work with. Everyone associated with the show was in love with him.
a) Is a genuine genetically engineered transgenic
b) Is the Marty-Stu offspring of an elf princess and the heir to the kingdom
c) Sold his soul to the devil in exchange for unearthly perfection
d) All of the above
My money's on "D."
no subject
Date: 2007-11-30 09:39 am (UTC)Now that I have to read! Although your summary is pretty damned good. How is it that *everyone* loves him? I think I'll go with "D" as well. It's sure better than saying 'nice' - a word which so many people hate.