That's That

Jan. 8th, 2012 01:18 pm
oselle: (Default)
I read this recently and it struck a chord: "You can never live a life of meaning and purpose until you fully grasp and live this truth: the core of a fulfilled life is knowing that every moment is a choice."

For nearly nine years, I've chosen -- usually almost every day -- to come to LiveJournal and today, I've made the choice to quit. After such a long time, and to remove any temptation to take up this habit again, I want to make it official.

I have a new and very demanding job, I have freelancing writing assignments on most weekends, I recently got suckered into adopting a cat who is rapidly turning my home into a giant hairball, and I've still got my aged parents and my own not-great health to consider and so it's time. It's just time. I was offline for nearly two months and I didn't miss it, and when I came back I suddenly discovered all that anonymous vitriol and I thought, this is it. This is the sign telling me that it's time to go.

To you folks who like to talk about me behind the screen of anonymity, if you want to laugh at me flouncing, place bets on how soon I'll be back, or indulge in delusions that I'm still around and wanking away with you anonymously or under a new LJ handle, you go right ahead. To the handful of you who obviously felt the need to lurk around my journal so that you could keep tabs on me, consider this a gift. I'm giving you a piece of your life back. Try to make a good choice about what you do with it.

To the friends I've made here who became friends in RL, thank you bringing new fellowship, ideas and experiences into my life. I know we'll stay in touch. I especially have to mention [ profile] baylorsr for her constant friendship, talent, taste in music, excellent hospitality and too many gifts to mention over the years. We're still on for February, so don't think I'm canceling that.

And to all those who have read my stories, whether they were Supernatural, Birthright or Lord of the Rings, thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for the extraordinary opportunity to serve, and to give what I hope was the best of myself.


Jan. 8th, 2012 12:52 am
oselle: (Default)
I've just spent the past hour or so discovering that there seems to be a not-so-small army of people out there that hates my guts for a vast array of reasons including:

1. I'm an EDG (which I assume means Extreme Dean Girl)
2. I'm an ECG (Extreme Castiel Girl?)
3. I'm an ESH (Extreme Sam Hater?)
4. I'm a frothing-at-the-mouth misogynist bitch.
5. I was the subject of an Elijah Wood wank seven years ago
6. I spell the abbreviation of Castiel's name as "Cass" instead of the fandom-approved "Cas"
7. They don't like someone who comments in my LJ (and every one of my commenters is, apparently, my "bosom buddy")
8. They're convinced that I spend my time trolling anonymous communities (they keep saying "hi" to people they think are me, anyway)
9. I'm a BNF
10. My icon is scary (I agree with this, but it's hardly a reason to dislike someone)
11. Myriad other reasons
12. All of the above

Of all of these, the BNF thing is the most puzzling. When was I ever a BNF in this fandom? When was I ever a BNF in any fandom. Huh? Then again, maybe I am a BNF if I have such a battalion of "haters."

How could all of this stuff have been sitting out there for months and I didn't know about it? I last checked that Yandex thing on the LJ homepage just a couple of months ago and none of this showed up and since yesterday I can suddenly see pages of it. WTF, LiveJournal? You're supposed to keep me informed about this shit.

Y'all are fucking nuts. I'm gonna stick to posting pictures of my new cat. Or not. Because then I'd be "batshit crazy Oselle-the-cat-lady" on top of everything else, right? Jeez.

In even more disturbing news, today my father told me that he plans to vote for Ron Paul. Ron Paul!

SPN 7:11

Jan. 6th, 2012 10:34 pm
oselle: (Dawnbreeze)
No real spoilers here because I only came home in time to catch the very end of the episode but wow...those last few seconds had almost everything that captivated me about SPN in the first place -- the music, the atmosphere, and Dean's perfect, perfect face.

It's been a long time since SPN gave me goosebumps but wow. Goosebumps it is.
oselle: (Dean & Mary By Andune_85)
I simply don't understand how someone as beautiful as Jensen is overlooked year after year by People magazine's "sexiest man alive." I understand that he's too off-the-celeb-radar to make the cover, but he's never even one of the dozens of guys profiled within the issue...some of which, I swear, I've never even heard of. Hmph.
oselle: (Default)
Whenever I think The Walking Dead can't get any goes ahead and gets better.

Spoilers ahoy )
oselle: (Default) very, very much.

Fallen, by Ash

(h/t to [ profile] amber1960)

Last Page of Our Story, by mrbubby

(h/t to [ profile] geckoholic on [ profile] spnroundtable)

Part of me wants to write S7 fic about what losing Castiel means for Dean, but my own All Saints-verse is so entrenched in my mind that I can't really get there. But a picture's worth a thousand words, and I think the vid and art above say it all.


Oct. 23rd, 2011 08:31 pm
oselle: (Default)
My apartment building has finally turned on the heat!

Every year, I get so excited by this. It's like an event. I love that first little hiss, soon to be followed by the clanking and crackling and that warm iron smell of old steam radiators that have been shut down for months.

When I was a kid, we always called it "steam." We went through a long stretch in my childhood when our apartment building was hopelessly run down and mismanaged, and we were lucky to get even a few hours of steam every evening. So of course, whenever we heard it starting to bubble up, my sister and I would have to announce "Steam's coming!" God, that makes it sound like I grew up in the nineteenth century -- I swear, sometimes I feel like I did.

That's something I know I'm going to miss at this new job. My former job was in such an old building that some offices (including mine) still had radiators that actually worked, even though we also had more modern hot air ducts. If I went into the office on a Saturday, the building's heat was off but the steam was still on and it was...cozy, believe it or not.

The apartment I had in Maine was the only place I ever lived where I could turn on my own heat just by twisting a thermostat. It was, of course, much more convenient and comfortable than waiting for the super to "send up some steam" but it was also...a lot less thrilling. The annual first steam of the year always marks the real beginning of autumn for me. I also had baseboard heaters in that apartment -- reliable, quiet, odorless and so, so boring. I think if I ever built a house, I would insist that it have big old steam-heat radiators, assuming there's anyone out there who still makes them. There are just little things that make life better in their own strange way.
oselle: (Default)
Man, the silence that greets each new ep of SPN here on LJ is really depressing. I just feel like people have totally given up. I'd go over to TWoP but those boards have always been boring as fuck with all their ban-happy bullshit rules about what you can and can't talk about.

But, like the rest of you, I don't seem to have anything to say. There just isn't anything to react to or discuss. I hadn't realized until Castiel was gone how much he'd held my interest for the past couple of seasons -- really, the last truly great episode (for me) was "The End" and that was a whopping two years ago. Got a lot of fic out of that one, anyway. But now it's just so blah. Dean continues to be pretty as ever but there's nothing to get worked up about. I want something to HAPPEN for God's sake, but the show really feels like it's run out of gas. Maybe seven years is just too long for a series like this.

The Vampire Diaries is kicking ass, but you know...that's only in it's third season. Four years from now, will there still be stories left to tell about Elena and Damon and Klaus etc.? Maybe genre shows like this simply don't have legs.

I wonder what SPN could have done to keep momentum. Letting Kripke basically end the show back in Season 5 was probably a shitty idea (ya think?). It might have helped to give good writers like Jeremy Carver a reaon to stick around, and they're not going to get much out of Ben Edlund now that they've more or less written out one of his favorite characters. And of course, the reins of the show should never have been handed over to Sera Gamble. I read that the show lost 25% of its audience by the end of Season 6. Those people have not come back. I think it's pretty safe to lay the blame for that at Gamble's feet.

Whatevs, I guess. It was a pretty good run there for a while. I became a fan in 2007 so that's...almost four years. Not bad.

I've got that displaced, "girl without a fandom" feeling, though. I hate that. I started a new job in August and I don't like it much and feel like I could use some distraction, but at the same time, I'm so tired that I don't think I could drum up the energy for fandom. Maybe that's part of the reason why I'm not into the show this year. Yesterday I didn't get home from work until almost 8:30. It was a shitty day and really, all I wanted to do was crawl into bed. I practically dozed off during the episode. On the weekends now, I stay in bed until almost 10:00 am -- I haven't done that in years. Everything is so shitty. You make a move like this thinking things are gonna get better and they just get worse. That's been the whole pattern of my life. Every time I try to make things better they get worse.

Everything sucks.
oselle: (Default)


Oct. 8th, 2011 06:49 pm
oselle: (Default)
That episode, especially the ending, demonstrated all three major hallmarks of any Dabb/Loflin effort: it was nasty, it was stupid, and it made Dean look like a nasty, stupid dick. And now these two morons are producers?

oselle: (Default)

My tweets

Sep. 25th, 2011 08:02 am
oselle: (Default)
  • Sat, 16:02: MAN, the silence over last night's SPN premiere is deafening. Not even crickets.


oselle: (Default)

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