(no subject)

[oselle]

Because all bad things come from baylorsr, she sent me an entire gallery of screencaps from Jensen Ackles's movie, Devour. And then called me up to walk me through the caps, lest I miss anything. Well, I had a bunch of stuff to order from Amazon and they had it for only ten bucks so...you get the picture. AND SO DID I HAHAHAHA!

I'd somehow gotten the impression that this was a sort of teen slasher pic but it's actually about the occult. It's much too convoluted to go into here and I know I put a spoiler warning on but I don't want to give away the big spoiler at the end except to say that Jensen's character, Jake Gray, is either psychotic or something much, much worse.

The really important things you need to know are as follows:

1) We get a couple of glimpses of what must be Jensen Ackles's real-life high school yearbook picture and I'll tell you something -- he's better looking now. He was so flat-out pretty at that age that he was almost bland. I know that seems hard to believe but he's much more striking with a little wear-and-tear on his face. Oh, if only that were true for all of us!

2) Mucho angst and Jake cries twice. Beautifully. Who frigging looks this good with mucous running out of his nose?

3) One very brief and dirty sex scene involving no nudity but lots of panting. He also gets a tattoo and is forced to drink blood. It's fun.

4) My favorite line was when Jake's portly, nerdy friend Conrad calls him up to tell him that he has two girls in his room. "Invite me over," Jake quips. Conrad answers, "Hell, one look at you and they'd kick me out of bed." When you've got a string of movies like Superbad about ugly guys somehow getting the girl, it's nice to hear a little honesty.

5) Jensen Ackles can do a powerfully convincing dead-eye stare. Considering the writers strike looks to be dragging on and on and on, we may never get to see Dean die or anything like it, so I enjoyed this immensely.

Ratings on a scale of 1-10:
Pretty Rating: OMG, 12 at least. He's all green eyes and freckles and rosy pout. Great day in the mornin'!
Proto-Dean Rating: Hmmmm...6? He looks very much like Dean but Jake Gray is really sweet and not at all a smartass, so he doesn't have that devil-may-care charm. But I can see Jake as a much younger and less cynical version of Dean.
Recommended: Yes, but I'm a sucker.