(no subject)

[oselle]

Well, it's one a.m., so officially Christmas 2007. I've got a nice videotaped log burning on the tube (this version is without the cheesy carols, just crackling logs...SCORE!). No Christmas tree though, I just didn't have the gumption. I suppose at some point I'll tune into those 24 hours of A Christmas Story on TBS. Whoever thought up THAT one is a marketing GENIUS. I may try to make cookies tomorrow morning. Bought all the stuff, I might as well, but damn, my follow-through these days is really in the shitter. I did laundry three days ago and I still haven't gotten around to folding it. Haven't vacuumed in three weeks, either.

I've been trying to write a story and it's becoming more and more clear to me that I suck at it. Okay, don't feel obligated to be nice and refute that in the spirt of the holiday. I suck. Take it from me, I suck. Here's what I want to know: how do some other people manage to have jobs and kids and houses and pets and still crank out multiple novel-length pieces of brilliant fanfiction? I can understand how professional novelists do it because that is their job, but how the hell does someone accomplish that when it's a hobby? I am slow as...I can't think of a good similie because of the depth of my literary suckitude. Suffice to say I'm slow. It can take me two hours to write one page, and then I usually wind up scrapping it and starting all over. This story? Had three different beginnings, hours of work, all junked before sticking with Version Four. I wish writers would talk more about their writing process. Stephen King is really good at that, but he is a ridiculously prolific freak of nature so I don't think he's a good example. I recall seeing some of Tolkien's early drafts of LoTR and they were pretty awful and I'd love to know how he went from those painful first attempts to the real thing. Writers don't talk about that stuff. Is it inexplicable? Are they superstitious? Just full of shit?

I was trying to have a conversation with someone at work the other day about how incredibly good some fanfiction is. I don't think she really bought it. Anyone who's never read it thinks it's just a pathetic pastime practiced by the pitiful. They don't realize that there are writers out there in all fandoms who could whip the pants off a lot of published authors and who, worth repeating, are doing this in their spare time. I really think that's why some pro writers get so defensive about it. If I were a published author, I'm not sure how I'd feel if someone wrote fanfic off my stuff. On the one hand, hey, it's flattering and helps book sales. On the other -- I'm so fucking neurotic and insecure I'd be in a constant panic that someone was out there using my idea but doing it better -- which, I'm sure, would happen. I'd probably be institutionalized in no time.

Tried reading some Cormac McCarthy in the bookstore today. What is the man's problem with quote marks? I can only take so much "style."

I feel grotesque. I've grown to hate this time of year, I know I'll be in a paralytic funk from now until at least April.

Okay, this video Yule log is getting real old.

Merry Christmas.