(no subject)

[oselle]

There was some bullshit Wincest wank this weekend and one of the ideas that kept getting tossed out there was that people who are squicked by Wincest have trouble understanding that Sam and Dean Winchester are fictional.

I don't think that's an entirely valid argument because it doesn't address the fact that some people are squicked by Wincest because incest itself squicks them, regardless of whether the participants are fictional or not. I still can't stand John Irving after reading The Hotel New Hampshire...but then the brother/sister incest in there was just the icing on top of the big steaming shitcake that The Hotel New Hampshire was to me. My apologies to you John Irving fans.

The other thing I read online this weekend provided a much, much better example of people who don't understand what "fictional" means or that "fictional characters" and situations should not be used as a template for real life. It was an article on the U.S. torture policy from The Guardian and you can read the whole awful thing here., if you're so inclined, but here's what caught my eye:

"(Lieutenant Colonel Diane) Beaver told me she arrived in Guantánamo in June 2002. In September that year there was a series of brainstorming meetings, some of which were led by Beaver, to gather possible new interrogation techniques. Ideas came from all over the place, she said. Discussion was wide-ranging. Beaver mentioned one source that I didn't immediately follow up with her: "24 - Jack Bauer."

It was only when I got home that I realised she was referring to the main character in Fox's hugely popular TV series, 24. Bauer is a fictitious member of the Counter Terrorism Unit in LA who helped to prevent many terror attacks on the US; for him, torture and even killing are justifiable means to achieve the desired result. Just about every episode had a torture scene in which aggressive techniques of interrogations were used to obtain information.

Jack Bauer had many friends at Guantánamo Bay, Beaver said, "he gave people lots of ideas." She believed the series contributed to an environment in which those at Guantánamo were encouraged to see themselves as being on the frontline - and to go further than they otherwise might."

Now THAT, my friends, is what it looks like when people cease to understand the difference between fictional characters and real ones: they start to make real-life decisions based on what an imaginary person in a make-believe world would do. Of course, in this case, it's not some fangirl who's doing it on her LJ -- IT'S THE PEOPLE SHAPING OUR NATIONAL SECURITY AND FOREIGN POLICIES.

If you're like me, you may be in the fetal position, quietly rocking back and forth right now. But you know, letting imaginary people on TV show us the way might not be such a bad thing. In fact, I think that many of America's current challenges could be solved by just asking ourselves, "What would Winchesters do?" WWWD? Just a few examples:

Iraq
The Winchesters are all about "saving people, hunting things," right? With more than 4,000 U.S. soldiers and countless Iraqis dead, we're not saving anyone over there. At the same time, we're not hunting the people we should be after. So let's save some lives in Iraq and go hunt Osama Bin Laden over there on the Pakistani border, like we should have done seven years ago.

Mortgage Crisis
If living out of motel rooms is good enough for the Winchesters, it's damn well good enough for you. You'll not only be freed from that nasty ARM, you'll get to explore America one motor court at a time! Financial freedom and the romance of the open road? Sign me up!

Economic Downturn
Take a "cue" from Dean Winchester and develop your pool-sharking skills! You'll never have to worry about jobs going overseas again! Lousy hand-eye coordination? No problem -- you can easily support an all-American lifestyle by applying for phony credit cards in the names of your favorite rock stars, serial killers and Words That Sound Dirty Together. (Note: Jackie N. Mehoff is MINE).

Healthcare
This one's a no-brainer. No matter how gravely injured the Winchesters are, they always manage to find top-flight care, usually in a cushy private hospital room, without paying a dime. How do they do it? Fake insurance policies, of course! And if there's something your fake insurance doesn't cover, you can always pick up the slack with your phony credit card! Foolproof!

Soaring Gas Prices
I won't even address this, since the very existence of the Impala means that there are no soaring gas prices.

I think I'm really onto something here. If Jack Bauer can advise us on national security, why shouldn't the Winchesters advise us on everything else? I mean, look at how strapping, healthy and gorgeous they are! Clearly, they're doing something right. What about you? Can you think of any other ways that the Winchesters can save America?

Comments

[mews1945.livejournal.com]

Jesus wept. You are so right in everything you say.

And Wincest is a sore point with me. I avoid Wincest because I fucking hate incest which, in most cases, involves an adult molesting a child. I'm a slash writer and I love slash, but not incest.

I love the brotherly love and the dynamic that creates in Supernatural. I don't tell other people not to read or write Wincest, but I don't think I need to read it.

[i-o-r-h-a-e-l.livejournal.com]

Woo hoo! You're genius, I love you! :D

Althought I'm quite concerned with the habit of using phony this and phony that. That's going to damage America's financial condition in the end.

WWWD - woot!

[oselle.livejournal.com]

What's depressing about this post is that it's not that far-fetched. We've got a president who insisted that everyone has access to healthcare because they "can just go to the emergency room," which pretty much IS what the Winchesters do. They just take it to the next level and find a "creative" way to pay for it. Good old American ingenuity at work!

God, it's all so horrifying.

Yeah, the incest thing doesn't work for me either. I totally get why people would want to read about two really hot guys fucking, but for me, the fact that they're brothers throws a huge wet blanket on the sexiness. And their being sexually involved would, IMO, make them into very different characters and I kind of like them the way they are.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

That's going to damage America's financial condition in the end.

Our financial condition is already in the toilet and our leaders keep telling us the economy is "robust" so I'd say this isn't a problem. They're also telling us to "go out and shop" and that "everyone has access to healthcare in America" so clearly, the Winchester way is the way to go!