Twilight the Movie, SPN 5:01

[oselle]

Someone at work loaned me the DVD of Twilight. It's 11:30 pm and I've basically been trying to watch it since I got home at 7:30. I thought it would be fun, brainless diversion for a rainy night but it can't even accomplish that much because it's so stupefyingly dull. I keep turning it off to go do more interesting things. Like load my dishwasher. I'm thinking that maybe, maybe this is actually some kind of brilliant, subversive satire. One day we'll find out that Stephenie Meyer is not a Mormon hausfrau who built a multi-million-dollar franchise off a single wet dream but is, in fact, a chain-smoking performance artist from Berlin who cooked up this whole scheme as a way to prove to her fellow bongo-playing, tiny-moustachioed bohemians that the rubes will buy anything if it's packaged the right way.

RE: SPN 5:01.

I'm glad that in the last 30 seconds Dean finally got around to saying to Sam what he (and Bobby and Anna and Castiel and anyone else I can think of) should have said to Sam all last season: You chose a demon over your own brother and you can't be trusted. PERIOD. I'd get excited about this development but I'm sure that before the Thanksgiving hiatus rolls around, at least one person, prophet or angel will give Dean his usual humiliating kick to the curb and lecture him about forgiveness and family and blabbity-blah-blah-blah and Dean will be all contrite and self-castigating and there'll be some teary roadside blabbity-blah and BLAH. Enjoy those balls while you got 'em, Deano, 'cause you'll be handing them over soon enough.

Speaking of humiliation, BOY am I glad I've stuck to my guns and never attended a con because their depiction of the "typical" fan was, shall we say, less than flattering and they've got to be getting that impression from somewhere. I want that "fourth wall" to go back up RIGHT THE FUCK NOW because they are getting way, way too off on wanking the fandom. It unsuspends the disbelief, it's not funny, it's clearly just a running inside gag for the show's writers and cast, and it makes me fucking squirm. It embarasses me. I have many, many opportunities to be humiliated by my life, I don't need to have it piled on by a goddamn TV show. YMMV LOL.

I liked the new Meg (and that actress was maddeningly familiar). She had great presence but she lasted all of two minutes so buh-bye to that.

The opening was pure Annie Wilkes cockadoodie WTFness with Sam and Dean suddenly being raptured up to an airplane that apparently crashes (?) but not before our boys get whisked off yet again to some car that is not the Impala as repeated lingering close-ups of the sleek digital dashboard more than effectively demonstrated.

I liked the way they worked Lucifer's vessel into the story as someone who's been a victim of horrible tragedy and therefore is vulnerable to such temptation. I especially liked Lucifer telling him that contrary to the stories, he always tells the truth, because I think there is something horribly apt about that. In SPNverse at least, Lucifer is certainly coming across as far more honest and honorable than any other divine entity we've yet encountered.

Since it's been canon for four years that any old guttersnipe of a demon can possess whomever he likes whenever he likes, I guess I have to fanwank that angels, even the most powerful, need permission from their vessels because they're better than demons, not less potent.

Castiel continues to kick ass and at this point he's stealing the show from his co-stars. I notice that Misha now has "above the fold" co-billing with the Js, as I'm sure you all noticed as well.

The highlight of the premiere, however, was the nape of Jensen's neck. It struck me as especially pretty last night and I look forward to seeing more of it this season.

Comments

[oxer12.livejournal.com]

I was hoping you would post a review.

First off, WORD about "Twilight." I got it from Netflix last week to watch it as a lark, and found myself wanting to stab out my eyeballs and eardrums. It was so. bad. And not in a good way either. It was just bad.

About SPN, don't know if you read my post or not, but you will see that I a.)hated the actress playing Meg, and b.)liked the fangirl stuff. So, pretty much the opposite of you. ;)

HOWEVER, we can agree on Castiel being a scene-stealing badass, thinking "WTF" about the plane rapture, AND hoping against hope that Dean retains his balls. I'm going to be really annoyed if he's all forgiveness after, like, 2 weeks.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I'm sure the howler monkeys at TWoP have been revving up the "OMG Dean's an asshole!" chorus since last night, but even without their help I don't doubt that Dean's balls are already slated for their annual demolition. I just wonder who'll supply the nutcracking this time -- Bobby? Anna? Mary's ghost?

Re: word...yup...

[oselle.livejournal.com]

You know, I'm sure there are plenty of shows out there with big fan followings that don't feel the need to stroke themselves off like this on a regular basis.

[i-o-r-h-a-e-l.livejournal.com]

Misha is one of the main actors now. Hmm. I don't really like that.

[animotus.livejournal.com]

The highlight of the premiere, however, was the nape of Jensen's neck
ZOMG...LOOOOL....I'm not the only freak here!:P
What?!?The nape of Jensen's neck is more than relevant ok?

I agree about the fangirls mocking,the first time was fun....now it's not anymore!Because we all know the fandom is full of these crazy-dumb girls but PLEASE,Kripke has no idea of what kind of AWESOME fangirls there are!!!And I could add...we have better writers than tv,so stop laughing at us,you could be seriously shocked by the real fandom!!!;D

[ghyste.livejournal.com]

I went to see Twilightat the cinema in the hopes that it would be hilariously bad, but it was just dull, dull, dull.

I actually found Becky quite amusing and (as I said over on my LJ) having been to SPN cons I know they could have been a lot crueller and still been within the bounds of reality. Still, enough is enough and I don’t really want it to be a running theme.

Scanning the online discussions last evening, TwoP was actually far more pro Dean than LJ where nearly every review that had been linked to the Newsletter was trying desperately to prove that everything that happened last season was Dean’s fault. I sometimes wonder whether which camp you are in depends on your own views on personal responsibility – do you believe you should own up to your errors and pay the price or do you believe that some external force or person is always to blame for your shortcomings.

[arabia764.livejournal.com]

It embarasses me. I have many, many opportunities to be humiliated by my life, I don't need to have it piled on by a goddamn TV show.

I completely agree. No, it's not funny, it's a put down, simple as that. Although, I suspect, you and I are the only ones that think that way.

[layne67.livejournal.com]

It was good the first time around ( Monster at the end of the book ) but it's so yesterday, a stale joke, doing it for a second time. And I'm kinda glad that Becky was a Sam's girl ...

[sixth-queen.livejournal.com]

In my view, any story with a supernatural subject (Buffy, LotR, vamps, devils, angels, gypsies, magic) is essentially talking about religion. IMO religious topics are deep matters and should be treated as such. If you're going to be humorous, at least go all-out to make it obvious, like Mel Brooks or Monty Python or nun humor. Or go for clever satire, like Terry Pratchett. Halfway winky snide sarcasm is an insult. YMMV.

[ariadnes-string.livejournal.com]

IKR? I watched Twilight on DVD last spring with my friend and her teenage daughter (the daughter had already seen it at least once before), and I was expecting some fun teen-movie cheesiness, and was also sadly disappointed by how boring it was! Also, I remember being kinda disturbed by how abject the heroine was, always willing to give stuff up for others....

But I also liked the last scene of SPN 5.01. Because, yeah, Dean being so upfront about how Sam had betrayed him (and everyone) was awesome. And, I had been feeling that the newly restored, macho, trash-talking Dean was a little OTT, so I was relieved that some of it, at least, was an act.

Also liked: Jensen's face. A little older, not quite the firm mask of youth anymore, still mesmerizing.

And loved Lucifer saying that he/she doesn't lie--and promising Nick "justice."

[mara-snh.livejournal.com]

Your comments on Twilight? Brilliant, and now I seriously love you.

Now excuse me while I read on, to see what you have to say about SPN.

[mara-snh.livejournal.com]

Agreed about the 4th wall thing. Once is clever and funny as hell. Twice is an old Borscht-Belt comic trying to recapture the glory days, bada boom. Maybe they thought that catching Becky in the act of writing actual Wincest was a value-added excuse. Ho hum. I will say, though, that I'm happy in my beta-reader skin to see any variation on the word "husk" mocked before millions of viewers. I now have a canon frame of reference for drawing a red line right through "he husked," "he husked out," "he said in a husky voice," "his husky moans alternating with gasps of 'Dean, Dean, Dean" and so on. Makes my job that much easier.

I think Castiel is God or something now. He seems to have gotten perfect marks in his summer hiatus assertiveness training, in spite of having taken it on the lam from Heaven's greenroom; and being smitten, at least in vessel form, by an archangel. "I won't ask again," or whatever that line was, is a very parental thing to say -- though more motherly than fatherly, I note. What about that?

Oh well. We shall see.

[oxer12.livejournal.com]

I now have a canon frame of reference for drawing a red line right through "he husked," "he husked out," "he said in a husky voice," "his husky moans alternating with gasps of 'Dean, Dean, Dean" and so on.

That is some funny shit right there. :D

[mara-snh.livejournal.com]

You wouldn't believe the funny shit I have to edit. Homophones are hilarious. Just a minute ago, over on Buddy TV, someone made a comment about "poor diluted Sam." Either she meant "deluded" or she prefers her Sam the way she prefers her beer: not watered down.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I know they could have been a lot crueller and still been within the bounds of reality.

Mocking fans, no matter how crazy they may be, shouldn't be any part of the business of the show and now it is. And it's way more than a running theme -- the "Carver Edlund" version of Supernatural has now become a plot driver, part of the overall storyarc. I know for a fact that the pseudo-SPN and its faux-fandom will be the focus of at least one more episode and boy, I think I'm going to have to sit that one out if I want to retain any affection for this show beyond Jensen's neck.

LOL -- the last time someone told me there was pro-Dean discussion at TWoP I went skipping over there excitedly only to discover that the conversation had already turned into the usual "suck it up, Dean!" drivel.

While I do think we all bring our personal prejudices to fiction...there's also such a thing as objective fact. And I think there aren't too many facts to support Sam's blamelessness or Dean's culpability in what happened last season -- jeez, when Sam first became enthralled with Ruby, Dean wasn't even around. But oh yeah...that was his fault, too. He should have both saved his brother's life and found a way to get himself out of the deal so that Sam wouldn't have to be on his own and all vulnerable to Ruby's irresistible advances. God, Dean's such a DICK.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I think that most fans either don't see themselves in someone like Becky, or see that sort of characterization as an affectionate shout-out to the fans. Me? I think it's mockery and I find it genuinely hurtful. It makes me feel ashamed of being a fan and absolutely makes me never, ever want to meet anyone associated with this show (which I'm sure no one's shedding any tears over, considering I'm just another bug-eyed, fawning kook).

On a less personal level, I just think it's bad writing -- it's a silly, inside joke that they've chosen to weave into the storyarc for their own jollies and by now (as with those wacky Ghostfacers) I'm sure they're all way too in love with it to drop it.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

Supernatural has always toyed with "deep matters" and then backed away from them when things get too heavy. I don't want the show to turn into a damn tent revival or Highway to Heaven but I think it is possible to work with this sort of pop-culture theology and mysticism in a way that's satisfying and compelling -- and taking the subject matter seriously is the first step. I'm sure you recall that Peter Jackson's fundamental commandment for adapting LoTR to the screen was "no winks to the audience" and that's why those movies worked (dwarf-tossing aside). Besides that, I think it's the responsibility of the creators to tell the best goddamn story they possibly can -- and self-referential horsing around sure as hell isn't going to help them do it.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I finally finished watching Twilight today and I can imagine that if I were 30 or hell, even 20 years younger, I might have at least enjoyed the moodiness of it. But then, it was nothing but moodiness -- no substance at all. Bella and Edward are a dull, dull couple who at times are so slow and droopy they seem almost brain damaged. Edward is more than a century old and he's still in high school? And he lives with his mother?? And his idea of a wild time is climbing trees and family baseball? Jesus Christ! Is he a vampire or an overgrown Boy Scout? Bella's a complete mealymouthed drip with nothing to offer except her mouth-watering smell and there seems to be no reason for the bad vampire James to go after her at all -- there's not even a hint of some previous rivalry between James and Edward and jeez, does Bella really smell THAT good to other vampires that James has to have HER and HER ALONE? What, is she like filet mignon or something and even so, are there no other prime cuts of meat available in the Pacific Northwest? Even the music was fucking horrible droning emo crap and the whole thing looked like it was filmed under water. I don't think the Harry Potter books or movies are the works of brilliance that some make them out to be but I at least understand their appeal. This? This I do not get AT ALL, and I especially don't get how any person over the age of 16, much less how so many women (and some men) my age could find something here that's worth getting excited about.

But I also liked the last scene of SPN 5.01.

Well, like I said, enjoy it while you can because it won't last. I'm sure that we won't have to look any further than Sera Gamble's first episode of the season for Dean's inevitable bitch-slapping.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I think it's being implied that God hasn't "left the building" as Zach said last season but is playing a sort of backstage role in all of the goings-on, only stepping in when he absolutely must. Castiel raised Dean from the dead but who except God could raise an angel?

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I'm curious about why Becky said to Dean, "You're not what I expected at all." I wonder if it's because that's supposedly the reaction some of the more obnoxious fans have to Jensen?

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I don't really mind it because Castiel is a well-developed and relevant character and Misha has totally proven himself worthy of being a regular and not just a guest star. When Katie Cassidy and the actress who played Bela (God, I can't even remember her name right now) were automatically billed as co-stars from the very first episode of Season 3, that pissed me off.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

All of Jensen's parts are very easy on the eyes but there was something about his hair -- a little thicker on the top, really short at the back that just brought out his neck in a very delicious way.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I finally finished watching Twilight and it didn't get any better. Between the popularity of this dreck, the continued appeal of conservatism, and the return of leg warmers as a fashion accessory, I've begun to believe there's something sinister going on in America's water supply.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

"Pique," "peek" and "peak" are some of my favorites.

[sixth-queen.livejournal.com]

X-files and Buffy handled the pop theology by dividing into heavy and light episodes. My two favorite X-files episodes are polar opposites. The light episode was the one with the circus freaks, and the heavy episode was the heavily Catholic one with the 4 polydigital girls who turned out to be saints(?).

Technically there were a couple winks to the audience in LotR, but PJ (or probably Barrie Osborne) wisely bumped them to the DVD's. Like,

My axe is embedded in his spinal cord!
Game over man, Game over! [ok ok, I mixed in some Aliens ;-) ]
Lego surfing the stairs...well that's walking a fine line.