The TV people are my only friends
Apr. 27th, 2011 08:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
oselleI got to work this morning and there was the Media Life Daily newsletter in my email inbox and the first story was about the shows the CW had renewed. The first paragraph of the blurb ended with "Supernatural" and the next sentence began: "Not on the schedule..." but when I first read it I was sure it said, "Supernatural is not on the schedule" and my heart just dropped into my guts for one horrible split second before I realized I'd read it wrong.
Supernatural really is the weird, fucked-up relationship I never had in real life. The one that you hate and that alternately bores you and angers you and makes you feel stupid and used and cheap but that you don't know how you'd live without. After recovering from the shock of thinking it had been canceled, I sat there filled with stupid-chick thoughts about how I really need to start being nicer to Show because we've had so many good times together and I still love him. I need to stop being so judgmental and accept Show for who he is. Because Show is still very special and...I love Show! Don't ever leave me! Shoooooooow!
I blame all of this on Mary Tyler Moore. You kids won't remember this, but many, many years ago, TV shows had both opening credits and closing credits. The closing credits of The Mary Tyler Moore Show played over a slightly bittersweet instrumental version of the show's theme song and ended with a shot of a woman walking away from the camera in a snowy park. Some of you may remember it. She was walking away with her back turned. This was probably just some anonymous woman in B-roll footage of Minneapolis but I didn't know anything about B-roll footage back then and I always thought that was Mary walking away. From the audience, from us.
This was the very early 1970s so I couldn't have been more than four or five at the time but I was always heartbroken by that last shot of "Mary" walking away. Mary was disappearing back into her life with her cool apartment and her great job and her fun friends and leaving us all behind. I hate that I was such a sad little kid that the innocuous ending of a half-hour sitcom filled me with woe. I know now that there was a good underlying reason for this -- I grew up in an unhappy home and I remember that show always made my mother laugh and it was so rare to see her laugh about anything. But I didn't think that way when I was four, all I could think about was Mary, leaving us behind.
Throughout my life I have always developed an inordinate attachment to fictional characters, whether in books, in the movies or on television, and those closing credits of the old MTM show are my first memory of this phenomenon. The worst thing about these attachments is that, of course, they always have to end. In television, the endings are especially acute because you often have years to bond with these "people." My heart really goes out to the fans of All My Children and One Life to Live, some of whom have probably been watching those shows every weekday for decades and have literally watched people grow up and grow old on them, just like real friends and family.
The relatively new experience of online fandom has made these bonds more personal than ever. The show and the characters and the actors who play them have become not just weekly entertainment but a genuine part of my life. Since the summer of 2007, when I first got into Supernatural, at least some part of almost every day has revolved around the show in one way or another. The past four years haven't been very happy ones and Supernatural has sometimes been the only good thing I have going on -- even when the show is bad, what it brings to my life is still good because I can come here and rant about how bad SPN was last night instead of dwelling on unbearable realities.
Eventually though, it's going to end, the way it always does and I really, really hope that my life is in a better place when it does. Right now, I can't bear the thought of Supernatural turning its back and walking away from me. I'm so grateful for a seventh season. Hell, I hope they go for eight. Nine. Ten. Or I hope my life gets so much better that I don't even notice when they go off the air...that would be the best thing of all.
Supernatural really is the weird, fucked-up relationship I never had in real life. The one that you hate and that alternately bores you and angers you and makes you feel stupid and used and cheap but that you don't know how you'd live without. After recovering from the shock of thinking it had been canceled, I sat there filled with stupid-chick thoughts about how I really need to start being nicer to Show because we've had so many good times together and I still love him. I need to stop being so judgmental and accept Show for who he is. Because Show is still very special and...I love Show! Don't ever leave me! Shoooooooow!
I blame all of this on Mary Tyler Moore. You kids won't remember this, but many, many years ago, TV shows had both opening credits and closing credits. The closing credits of The Mary Tyler Moore Show played over a slightly bittersweet instrumental version of the show's theme song and ended with a shot of a woman walking away from the camera in a snowy park. Some of you may remember it. She was walking away with her back turned. This was probably just some anonymous woman in B-roll footage of Minneapolis but I didn't know anything about B-roll footage back then and I always thought that was Mary walking away. From the audience, from us.
This was the very early 1970s so I couldn't have been more than four or five at the time but I was always heartbroken by that last shot of "Mary" walking away. Mary was disappearing back into her life with her cool apartment and her great job and her fun friends and leaving us all behind. I hate that I was such a sad little kid that the innocuous ending of a half-hour sitcom filled me with woe. I know now that there was a good underlying reason for this -- I grew up in an unhappy home and I remember that show always made my mother laugh and it was so rare to see her laugh about anything. But I didn't think that way when I was four, all I could think about was Mary, leaving us behind.
Throughout my life I have always developed an inordinate attachment to fictional characters, whether in books, in the movies or on television, and those closing credits of the old MTM show are my first memory of this phenomenon. The worst thing about these attachments is that, of course, they always have to end. In television, the endings are especially acute because you often have years to bond with these "people." My heart really goes out to the fans of All My Children and One Life to Live, some of whom have probably been watching those shows every weekday for decades and have literally watched people grow up and grow old on them, just like real friends and family.
The relatively new experience of online fandom has made these bonds more personal than ever. The show and the characters and the actors who play them have become not just weekly entertainment but a genuine part of my life. Since the summer of 2007, when I first got into Supernatural, at least some part of almost every day has revolved around the show in one way or another. The past four years haven't been very happy ones and Supernatural has sometimes been the only good thing I have going on -- even when the show is bad, what it brings to my life is still good because I can come here and rant about how bad SPN was last night instead of dwelling on unbearable realities.
Eventually though, it's going to end, the way it always does and I really, really hope that my life is in a better place when it does. Right now, I can't bear the thought of Supernatural turning its back and walking away from me. I'm so grateful for a seventh season. Hell, I hope they go for eight. Nine. Ten. Or I hope my life gets so much better that I don't even notice when they go off the air...that would be the best thing of all.
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no subject
Date: 2011-04-28 04:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-28 05:05 am (UTC)Of course, if they write Cas out then all bets are off just because that pretty much sends a message that we're going full steam ahead with The Sammy Snowflake Hour and even my ridiculously OTT love for Ackles won't be able to overcome that. I don't think. God this show. *headdesk*
no subject
Date: 2011-04-28 05:23 am (UTC)This. Exactly.
no subject
Date: 2011-04-28 02:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-30 03:38 am (UTC)On the one hand, I'm very "oh god, we have to watch more of this bullshit?" because even though M was all, "We don't have too," we both, of course, know we will. On the other hand, remember how awesome season seven of The X-Files was? I couldn't stand the thought of SPN going out on such a bad season. I hope they get an awesome last season to drive out on. in a fiery blaze of glory
Watch me be disappointed.
Let's only hope we don't have years of fandom-less loveless drought like after LotR, where I feel like I wore my pajamas for years. (possibly an exaggeration, but you get my point).
PS: I'm reading the Hunger Games. I may have to call you at some point. There may be screaming.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-04 05:56 pm (UTC)And I'm just like...dude, the thing I like about ocmics is that he never has to get old and he can always be there in Wayne Manor with nobody having to get old and die or change.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-13 01:50 am (UTC)I think the people who relate to fictional characters far outnumber those who don't -- the immense, long-lasting popularity of some characters wouldn't be possible if people didn't bond with them.
I'm kind of amazed that there are people in comics fandom who actually want the characters to get old and pass away to make room for the next generation. Like you said, the great thing about comics (or animated characters) is that they never have to age or die. Isn't there enough of that in real life?
no subject
Date: 2011-05-13 02:01 am (UTC)I know. It was a humiliating revelation.
Let's only hope we don't have years of fandom-less loveless drought like after LotR
You know, sometimes I think the reason I fell so hard for SPN was because I was starving to be part of an active fandom again. Once the last LoTR movie came out, the fandom dynamic was totally different. I had Birthright and my Elijah Wood obsession to tide me over for a little while, but the EW thing died after the Great Wank of 2005 and by August of that year I had also written my last Birthright story. Then there were two years of drought until I got into SPN. I enjoyed having all the extra time on my hands but there was something so flat about living without some passion (it didn't at all help that my dog died in the middle of those two dry years). I know that SPN fandom will go on long after the show is over, but there's a huge difference between being part of an active fandom vs. one that's been officially retired. So right now I'm hoping that SPN mimics Smallville and manages to hit the decade mark before finally fading to black. Gosh, I get sad just thinking about it.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-13 02:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-13 02:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-13 02:04 am (UTC)Mmm-hmm. You just keep telling yourself that, kid.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-13 02:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-17 04:04 am (UTC)Little did I know what I would wake up to in the morning.
You know, I wrote a little bit here and there (Without A Trace, Firefly, XMen) but nothing stuck, nothing ate my heart. It was double awful because I jumped in hardcore to both LotR and The West Wing and they both died out for me at the exact same time. I was so empty and heartbroken.
Let's not have that again.
Michael Rosenbaum just said in an interview that he started Smallville when he was an infant and is ending it now that he is on Medicare.
Maybe someday Jensen will be saying those words about SPN. ;)