(no subject)

[oselle]

Are you familiar with the term "schmuck bait?" That's when a TV show, usually in a "Next On" promo or commercial, dangles some tantalizing tidbit before the audience that, in fact, does not actually happen in the episode. I seem to recall that the TV shows of my youth were notorious for the schmuck bait in their commercials. As a young schmuck, I was suckered in by them every single time.

Man, I haven't been schmuck baited like this since the Seventies. Despite what the preview and the credits led me to believe, Mr. Jeffrey Dean Morgan, aka John Winchester, was not in that episode. His voice was in the episode, at least I assume it was his, but he himself was not. There was no meetup between Dean and his dearly departed daddy. The overlay of Dean's beaten-up face with John saying "how could you do it?" Cruelly misleading. Those were completely different scenes. There was buildup to angst, but no angst.

Show, show, show. Show. Can we talk?

It took me a long time to love you, I know. But when I finally fell for you, I fell hard, didn't I? You've been the center of my world for, what? Almost a year now? My friends are sick of hearing about you. I stopped going out on Thursday nights so that I could be with you. I think I've given an awful lot to this relationship, show.

Then circumstances beyond our control came between us. Contracts and unions and things I don't understand, things a whole lot bigger than just...a girl and her show. But I stayed faithful. I waited for you. I knew that one day, when all the lawyers and agents and arbitrators had had their say, you'd come back to me. Even though there'd be so much less of you than I'd hoped for -- six whole episodes less as it turned out -- I still waited. And now you're back and...I don't know, show. I just don't know.

We've got so little time left, and I don't understand why you want to spend it this way. A silly and vaguely offensive episode last week and then forty minutes of schmuck bait this week? Show! You should be ripping my heart out! There are only two episodes of you left! One of your main characters is dying...going to hell! And you're phoning it in, show! I'm not feeling it! Why are you doing this to me? Is it because I waited two years to buy the Season One DVD? Because I still record you on VHS? Because I like Reaper? Tell me, show! Tell me what I've done wrong!

Oh, show. We only have two episodes left together and you don't even look like you're trying to make them count. And then you're going to take off and leave me hanging all summer. I know it. And I'll wait. You know I'll wait. That's why you do this to me. I let you do it. *sniff* I let you.

You break my heart, show.

Comments

[oselle.livejournal.com]

It had its moments -- I mean, Dean is just getting prettier than ever -- but the lack of real Jeffrey Dean Morgan was a big disappointment, and they've got so little time left to make sense of this season that I don't really know what they're doing. Like I said, if this hadn't been the third-to-last episode of the season, I'd probably have enjoyed it a lot more.