Friday Night J2 Poll Results!!
Sep. 21st, 2008 01:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
osellePeople, the results of the J2 WTF Is Going One Here? poll are in! By a landslide, the winner is:
Scenario D
They're really good friends whose work entails spending a lot of time together and who moved in with each other just out of sheer convenience and maybe, just maybe they've checked out some J2 fanfic online, y'know, just for laughs and LOL joked about it and then found themselves thinking about it an awful lot and now they're both sort of flirting with the idea by making adorably awkward jokes about it THAT ARE NOT FOOLING ANYONE and that will eventually make them realize that they are TOTALLY IN LOVE!!!
With the second runner-up being:
Scenario B
Jared and Jensen are so amused and/or horrified by all the J2 fanfic and squee out there that they've put their pretty but sick heads together and come up with an elaborate running prank that they will keep up until the fandom spontaneously combusts.
I can't argue with conclusive results like that. The fangirls have spoken. WTF is going on here is clearly that Jared and Jensen are using an elaborate fandom prank as a pretense for adorably flirting with each other.
I'm afraid this calls for fic. No...this demands fic.
Title: Those Funny Stories
Pairings: Jensen/Jared
Rating: RPS, PG-13
Spoilers: Soapbox derby, Buddy TV Interviews
Word Count: 1,650
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. No TV stars were harmed in the writing of this story. Any stories mentioned herein are the author's invention and do not refer to any actual story or author.
Summary: Jared and Jensen are such funny guys.
Those Funny Stories
It's frigging Manners who keeps sending them links to those stories and they read a few and laugh their asses off.
"Holy shit! Who could hold that position?"
Jared's wheezing with laughter. He's all red in the face. "Maybe they think you moonlight for Cirque du Soleil."
"Yeah well..." Jensen points at the screen. "You're the one doing the ass-licking."
"What, you mean you don't want me to toss your salad...Jenny?"
"Um, no. Man, these chicks should all be writing for Penthouse Forum. How do they come up with this?"
"Beats the hell outta me."
"Yeah, bullshit." Jensen says. "It's you, feeding the flames."
"Yeah, I do do that, don't I? But you gotta admit it's funny."
"It's kinda funny."
"No man. It is really funny."
* * *
Jensen reads one of those stories and mutters "no fucking way," to himself and then later when he's lying in bed he pulls one knee up. And then the other. He hooks his elbows under his knees and pushes them up. Arches his back. Pulls his legs further up. Bends himself double and back. What do you know? He can get in that position. Isn't that funny?
He lets his legs down and stares at the ceiling.
* * *
Jared reads one of those stories and all the sex aside the thing that sticks with him is something about licking Jensen's navel. Jensen does have a nice navel. Perfect innie. Whoever wrote that story said the same thing in her foreword. Jesus Christ. They even write forewords to that stuff. They're all crazy, Jared thinks. Too much time on their hands.
He's taking a shower and he has time to let his own hand rest over his navel. He passes his thumb over the cup of it. He thinks about Jensen's. He shakes it off and laughs. It's all very funny.
* * *
It's even funnier now that they're living in the same house.
"You should've seen it, Jen."
"I don't need to see it, I heard it. I think the squealing damn near blew my windshield out."
"I'm pretty sure a few of them burst into flames. Can we get sued for that?"
"Shit, I hope not. Can you imagine anyone getting that excited over two guys just living together?"
Jared laughs. "They should just see what you look like in the morning. That'd kill the romance."
He pictures Jensen shuffling into the kitchen in the morning in his bare feet and underwear, hair matted and bedheaded up into spikes, cleaning his glasses on the hem of his shirt. Cleaning his glasses on the hem of his shirt while a little bit of his hip shows over the waistband of his shorts and he squints at Jared asking what time it is. It's kind of cute really. It's frigging adorable really. In one of those stories Jared would tell him just how cute it was. He'd show him.
"Yeah wouldn't it?" Jensen says. They look at each other. They laugh.
* * *
They're at the soapbox derby and Jared puts a hand over Jensen's shoulder and props his chin on it and it comes so natural he doesn't even know he's done it. Jensen lets him sit there like that. After a minute Jared realizes he's not only sitting there half-draped on Jensen but he's got a goofball dreamy smile on his face. He pulls away and takes a big drink of water and runs his hand through his hair. His hair's all wet.
Jensen looks at him. "Dude, you're sweating buckets."
"It's hot as balls out here," Jared says.
"No shit."
The picture's all over the web two days later and Jared can't believe the look on his face. He makes a joke about it.
* * *
Jensen saves that picture onto his hard drive. It'll be really funny to rag Jared about it.
* * *
"Desperately wanting, you've heard that Better Than Ezra song? Desperately wanting..."
Jensen starts laughing so hard he has to pause the video. "Desperately wanting? That's just mean, Jay."
"C'mon those chicks eat this stuff up!"
"Yeah, but now you're just yanking 'em."
"Ah, they love it."
"Yeah, they do," Jensen says. "Guess we can let 'em have their fun."
"Yeah."
They smile at each other. On the laptop, Jared's joking about Jensen's crush on him. I want to do something for him but I don't want to give him the wrong idea. Ha ha ha!
Jared's so funny.
* * *
Jared, from the doorway. "Jen, get up. We got an early call this morning."
Jensen cracks one eye open at the clock. It's 4:30. It's pitch black out. There's sleet hitting the window. He makes a Neanderthal sound and doesn't budge.
* * *
Jared goes to take a shower. When he comes out he stands in the doorway of Jensen's room. He stands there a long time and looks at him. Sprawled out on his stomach. Covers up to his waist. Arms under his head. Looks comfy as hell. Warm and cozy. Jared can hear him breathing. He's fast asleep. It's quarter to five.
"Jen!"
Nothing.
"Jen!"
"Mmft."
"Jen, get up!"
* * *
Jensen can hear Jared down in the kitchen. He pulls another pillow under his head. If he stays in bed any longer Jared will come up and throw something at him. Or yank the covers off the bed. Or send in the hounds, though that's no good. The dogs just curl up next to him and smack their doggie lips and start snoring and then Jared has to get all three of them up. Jensen smiles. Poor Jared. What'll it be this morning? He lies there half asleep and waits. He should start mumbling Jared's name when he comes in again. That would be funny.
* * *
Jared makes coffee. Except for the hiss and drip of the coffeemaker there's not another sound in the house. No creaking floorboards upstairs, no toilet flushing, no footsteps on the stairs. Jensen's not up. He probably hasn't even turned over. He thinks about Jensen lying there all warm in his bed.
If this was one of those stories, I'd...
What?
I'd go up there and kiss him awake.
Jared smirks. The next time he gives an interview he'll say that's how he gets Jensen out of bed in the morning. Then he and Jensen'll just sit back and watch those chicks on teh intarwebz go nuts! It's too easy. Shooting fish in a barrel! Now he's grinning like an idiot over the idea.
I'll say that I go up there and...
The coffeemaker steams and gurgles and Jared stands there against the counter.
I go up there and Jensen's lying in bed like he is right now and it's still dark in the room and I run a hand up his back and he's nice and sleep-warm and I lean over him and I...
Jared doesn't know it but his grin has faded into a half-smile and the coffeemaker's going plink-plink-plink and he doesn't hear it.
...and I kiss the back of his neck and say, "Jen, wake up," in his ear and he smiles. And I kiss the corner of his mouth and he rolls over and...
The coffeemaker wraps up its brewcycle with a gasping glurt that startles Jared back to himself and he thinks how funny it would be if he actually did that. LOL. Ha.
* * *
Jensen's lies there smelling coffee drifting up from the kitchen and wonders what Jared will do when he finds him still in bed.
If this was one of those stories he'd...
What?
Well hell, if it was one of those stories, Jared would've been right here to begin with, right? That's always part of the template, isn't it? Jared's lying here next to me and he rolls over and throws a leg over me and nestles against me and says "Jen, we gotta get up," and then I grab Jared's arm and pull it around me and then we...
Jensen snorts into his pillow. Man, where do those chicks get that stuff? Overactive imaginations.
* * *
Jared climbs the stairs with a cup of coffee in his hand. He can't believe the guy's not up yet. If this was one of those stories. he'd.
* * *
Jensen hears Jared coming up the stairs. If this was one of those stories, they'd.
* * *
Jared comes in and puts the coffee down on the nightstand.
Jensen looks up at him. "It's fucking sleeting out isn't it?"
"Yeah."
Jensen groans. Jared laughs. He puts a hand on Jensen's shoulder. Leaves it there.
"We got half an hour, Jen," he says. It sounds like something. An invitation. An opening. If this was one of those stories, it would be.
Jared claps him on the back. "Up and at em, prettyboy. Let's go."
"Yeah, yeah," Jensen says. Jared leaves. Jensen sits up and swings his legs off the bed. He sits there and drinks coffee and it's five o'clock on a pitch-black, balls-freezing, sleetsmacked winter morning and in one of those stories he'd still be in bed. They'd still be in bed.
* * *
In the car on the way to the set Jared says, "Next interview I'm gonna say that I kiss you awake."
Jensen laughs. "You're an asshole."
"C'mon, it'll be funny!"
"Yeah," Jensen says.
The windshield wipers slap at the sleet. It's still dark out. Jensen looks at Jared and Jared's staring out the window with a soft smile on his face. Jared looks at him.
"What?"
"You should say that," Jensen says. "The kissing thing. That would be funny."
They're both smiling when they get out of the car.
Scenario D
They're really good friends whose work entails spending a lot of time together and who moved in with each other just out of sheer convenience and maybe, just maybe they've checked out some J2 fanfic online, y'know, just for laughs and LOL joked about it and then found themselves thinking about it an awful lot and now they're both sort of flirting with the idea by making adorably awkward jokes about it THAT ARE NOT FOOLING ANYONE and that will eventually make them realize that they are TOTALLY IN LOVE!!!
With the second runner-up being:
Scenario B
Jared and Jensen are so amused and/or horrified by all the J2 fanfic and squee out there that they've put their pretty but sick heads together and come up with an elaborate running prank that they will keep up until the fandom spontaneously combusts.
I can't argue with conclusive results like that. The fangirls have spoken. WTF is going on here is clearly that Jared and Jensen are using an elaborate fandom prank as a pretense for adorably flirting with each other.
I'm afraid this calls for fic. No...this demands fic.
Title: Those Funny Stories
Pairings: Jensen/Jared
Rating: RPS, PG-13
Spoilers: Soapbox derby, Buddy TV Interviews
Word Count: 1,650
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. No TV stars were harmed in the writing of this story. Any stories mentioned herein are the author's invention and do not refer to any actual story or author.
Summary: Jared and Jensen are such funny guys.
Those Funny Stories
It's frigging Manners who keeps sending them links to those stories and they read a few and laugh their asses off.
"Holy shit! Who could hold that position?"
Jared's wheezing with laughter. He's all red in the face. "Maybe they think you moonlight for Cirque du Soleil."
"Yeah well..." Jensen points at the screen. "You're the one doing the ass-licking."
"What, you mean you don't want me to toss your salad...Jenny?"
"Um, no. Man, these chicks should all be writing for Penthouse Forum. How do they come up with this?"
"Beats the hell outta me."
"Yeah, bullshit." Jensen says. "It's you, feeding the flames."
"Yeah, I do do that, don't I? But you gotta admit it's funny."
"It's kinda funny."
"No man. It is really funny."
* * *
Jensen reads one of those stories and mutters "no fucking way," to himself and then later when he's lying in bed he pulls one knee up. And then the other. He hooks his elbows under his knees and pushes them up. Arches his back. Pulls his legs further up. Bends himself double and back. What do you know? He can get in that position. Isn't that funny?
He lets his legs down and stares at the ceiling.
* * *
Jared reads one of those stories and all the sex aside the thing that sticks with him is something about licking Jensen's navel. Jensen does have a nice navel. Perfect innie. Whoever wrote that story said the same thing in her foreword. Jesus Christ. They even write forewords to that stuff. They're all crazy, Jared thinks. Too much time on their hands.
He's taking a shower and he has time to let his own hand rest over his navel. He passes his thumb over the cup of it. He thinks about Jensen's. He shakes it off and laughs. It's all very funny.
* * *
It's even funnier now that they're living in the same house.
"You should've seen it, Jen."
"I don't need to see it, I heard it. I think the squealing damn near blew my windshield out."
"I'm pretty sure a few of them burst into flames. Can we get sued for that?"
"Shit, I hope not. Can you imagine anyone getting that excited over two guys just living together?"
Jared laughs. "They should just see what you look like in the morning. That'd kill the romance."
He pictures Jensen shuffling into the kitchen in the morning in his bare feet and underwear, hair matted and bedheaded up into spikes, cleaning his glasses on the hem of his shirt. Cleaning his glasses on the hem of his shirt while a little bit of his hip shows over the waistband of his shorts and he squints at Jared asking what time it is. It's kind of cute really. It's frigging adorable really. In one of those stories Jared would tell him just how cute it was. He'd show him.
"Yeah wouldn't it?" Jensen says. They look at each other. They laugh.
* * *
They're at the soapbox derby and Jared puts a hand over Jensen's shoulder and props his chin on it and it comes so natural he doesn't even know he's done it. Jensen lets him sit there like that. After a minute Jared realizes he's not only sitting there half-draped on Jensen but he's got a goofball dreamy smile on his face. He pulls away and takes a big drink of water and runs his hand through his hair. His hair's all wet.
Jensen looks at him. "Dude, you're sweating buckets."
"It's hot as balls out here," Jared says.
"No shit."
The picture's all over the web two days later and Jared can't believe the look on his face. He makes a joke about it.
* * *
Jensen saves that picture onto his hard drive. It'll be really funny to rag Jared about it.
* * *
"Desperately wanting, you've heard that Better Than Ezra song? Desperately wanting..."
Jensen starts laughing so hard he has to pause the video. "Desperately wanting? That's just mean, Jay."
"C'mon those chicks eat this stuff up!"
"Yeah, but now you're just yanking 'em."
"Ah, they love it."
"Yeah, they do," Jensen says. "Guess we can let 'em have their fun."
"Yeah."
They smile at each other. On the laptop, Jared's joking about Jensen's crush on him. I want to do something for him but I don't want to give him the wrong idea. Ha ha ha!
Jared's so funny.
* * *
Jared, from the doorway. "Jen, get up. We got an early call this morning."
Jensen cracks one eye open at the clock. It's 4:30. It's pitch black out. There's sleet hitting the window. He makes a Neanderthal sound and doesn't budge.
* * *
Jared goes to take a shower. When he comes out he stands in the doorway of Jensen's room. He stands there a long time and looks at him. Sprawled out on his stomach. Covers up to his waist. Arms under his head. Looks comfy as hell. Warm and cozy. Jared can hear him breathing. He's fast asleep. It's quarter to five.
"Jen!"
Nothing.
"Jen!"
"Mmft."
"Jen, get up!"
* * *
Jensen can hear Jared down in the kitchen. He pulls another pillow under his head. If he stays in bed any longer Jared will come up and throw something at him. Or yank the covers off the bed. Or send in the hounds, though that's no good. The dogs just curl up next to him and smack their doggie lips and start snoring and then Jared has to get all three of them up. Jensen smiles. Poor Jared. What'll it be this morning? He lies there half asleep and waits. He should start mumbling Jared's name when he comes in again. That would be funny.
* * *
Jared makes coffee. Except for the hiss and drip of the coffeemaker there's not another sound in the house. No creaking floorboards upstairs, no toilet flushing, no footsteps on the stairs. Jensen's not up. He probably hasn't even turned over. He thinks about Jensen lying there all warm in his bed.
If this was one of those stories, I'd...
What?
I'd go up there and kiss him awake.
Jared smirks. The next time he gives an interview he'll say that's how he gets Jensen out of bed in the morning. Then he and Jensen'll just sit back and watch those chicks on teh intarwebz go nuts! It's too easy. Shooting fish in a barrel! Now he's grinning like an idiot over the idea.
I'll say that I go up there and...
The coffeemaker steams and gurgles and Jared stands there against the counter.
I go up there and Jensen's lying in bed like he is right now and it's still dark in the room and I run a hand up his back and he's nice and sleep-warm and I lean over him and I...
Jared doesn't know it but his grin has faded into a half-smile and the coffeemaker's going plink-plink-plink and he doesn't hear it.
...and I kiss the back of his neck and say, "Jen, wake up," in his ear and he smiles. And I kiss the corner of his mouth and he rolls over and...
The coffeemaker wraps up its brewcycle with a gasping glurt that startles Jared back to himself and he thinks how funny it would be if he actually did that. LOL. Ha.
* * *
Jensen's lies there smelling coffee drifting up from the kitchen and wonders what Jared will do when he finds him still in bed.
If this was one of those stories he'd...
What?
Well hell, if it was one of those stories, Jared would've been right here to begin with, right? That's always part of the template, isn't it? Jared's lying here next to me and he rolls over and throws a leg over me and nestles against me and says "Jen, we gotta get up," and then I grab Jared's arm and pull it around me and then we...
Jensen snorts into his pillow. Man, where do those chicks get that stuff? Overactive imaginations.
* * *
Jared climbs the stairs with a cup of coffee in his hand. He can't believe the guy's not up yet. If this was one of those stories. he'd.
* * *
Jensen hears Jared coming up the stairs. If this was one of those stories, they'd.
* * *
Jared comes in and puts the coffee down on the nightstand.
Jensen looks up at him. "It's fucking sleeting out isn't it?"
"Yeah."
Jensen groans. Jared laughs. He puts a hand on Jensen's shoulder. Leaves it there.
"We got half an hour, Jen," he says. It sounds like something. An invitation. An opening. If this was one of those stories, it would be.
Jared claps him on the back. "Up and at em, prettyboy. Let's go."
"Yeah, yeah," Jensen says. Jared leaves. Jensen sits up and swings his legs off the bed. He sits there and drinks coffee and it's five o'clock on a pitch-black, balls-freezing, sleetsmacked winter morning and in one of those stories he'd still be in bed. They'd still be in bed.
* * *
In the car on the way to the set Jared says, "Next interview I'm gonna say that I kiss you awake."
Jensen laughs. "You're an asshole."
"C'mon, it'll be funny!"
"Yeah," Jensen says.
The windshield wipers slap at the sleet. It's still dark out. Jensen looks at Jared and Jared's staring out the window with a soft smile on his face. Jared looks at him.
"What?"
"You should say that," Jensen says. "The kissing thing. That would be funny."
They're both smiling when they get out of the car.
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Date: 2008-09-23 11:32 pm (UTC)