Newsflash: Old Dog (me) Learns New Trick

[oselle]

A co-worker, let's call him Bob, whom I know is an avowed conservative, came into my office and "happened" to see an old issue of Adweek magazine on my bookshelf. The issue had a Keith Olbermann coverwrap, touting his ratings success.

"Oh, I hate that guy!" he exclaimed. I didn't take the bait. He kept dangling it. "Number One in ratings? What? When? Against Bill O'Reilly?" I continued to ignore him. "When was this?"

"It's an old issue," I muttered and proceeded to start typing furiously until he left.

I know Bob was trying to draw me into a conversation about politics and I wasn't having it. Just a few years ago, maybe even a few months ago, I would have dived right in. But I've come to realize that having a conversation with a die-hard conservative is like trying to have one with an untreated schizophrenic. You will never get the madman to believe that those voices he hears and things he sees are not real. And you will never get a conservative to believe that the Republican/conservative agenda is not good, even great, for America.

I know Bob. I know that he gets his news from Fox and his opinions from Bill O'Reilly. He has admitted as much to me, and expounded on how much "sense" O'Reilly makes, how truly "balanced" Fox News is compared to the rest of the media. He is hearing voices and seeing things, and there is no convincing him that they are not real. The whole real world -- you know, the one where we've been in a hopeless war for more than five years, the one where a city drowned in its own sewage, the one that's sinking into the worst financial catastrophe since the Great Depression -- is perceived through a filter of conservative fantasy. It's such deeply rooted magical thinking that it cannot be dislodged, not even the littlest bit.

In some ways, I envy Bob. I would like to believe, as he does, that our leaders care about us and are doing all they can to protect us. That the war in Iraq has made the world a safer place. That a taxpayer-funded $700 billion bailout of Wall Street fatcats will ultimately benefit people like me. I would like to believe that I will always have access to the best healthcare, that global warming is nothing but Chicken Little science fiction, and that all our energy problems can be solved just by sinking a few oil rigs off the coastline. Believing these things must give Bob great comfort, comfort that I don't have.

But Bob has his own fears too, and the fact that they are as fictitious as the madman's hallucinations does not make them any less real, or any less terrifying, to him. He fears the crippling tax increase that Democrats would impose on the middle class. He fears the immigrant horde pouring over our borders. He fears the shiftless poor who buy houses they can't afford. He fears the lazy unemployed who want him to pay for their prescriptions. He fears the unchallenged bias of a powerful liberal media. Perhaps he also fears the War on Christmas although at least he's Jewish so he might be spared that particular terror -- but then again, Bill O'Reilly has told him to worry about it, so maybe he does. These imaginary, invented bogeys are the things that keep Bob up at night.

I feel like I've met two types of conservatives in my life -- I mean, real-folks conservatives, not politicians or pundits or lobbyists. The first type is just an out-and-out asshole. Kill 'em all, let God sort 'em out! More war, less taxes! America, love it or leave it!

The second type is like Bob -- someone who, on a personal level, is basically a nice guy, a good guy to know, even a good friend. But he is just as dangerously insane as the first type. Not vicious and cruel like the first but so completely fogged in by magical thinking that he has lost all ability to perceive reality. Real threats are inventions of some "liberal media." Trivial or wholly fictitious threats are matters of heart-stopping urgency.

Bob is a nostalgist. He sits in his office and plays lounge music from the Fifties and early Sixties. He talks wistfully about the good old days, growing up in Brooklyn in some idyllic doo-woppy era when he knew everyone on the block and the world made sense to him. I think he embraces conservatism because it seems to put that "sense" back into his world. I think that's why a lot of ordinary people embrace it, even when it's clearly against their own interests. It's magical thinking. We all do it to some extent. The real world can be such a hard thing to face. But conservatives like Bob embrace magical thinking until they go mad. There is no talking to them. There is no reasoning. There is no debating.

That is what this old dog has finally learned.

Comments

Re: its like that old time religion

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I don't care what people have to do or tell themselves to make their own lives tolerable. I have no problem with anyone living in a fantasy world (hell, I pretty much live in one too) but for God's sake they shouldn't drag the whole country down with their craziness.

[claudia603.livejournal.com]

having a conversation with a die-hard conservative is like trying to have one with an untreated schizophrenic.

I'm totally going to quote this. This is just spot on.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I've had conversations with homeless drunks that made more sense than some that I've had with conservatives. And at least the drunks are funny.

[oxer12.livejournal.com]

I have a "Bob" in my life. He is a dear, dear friend but we simply cannot talk about politics or religion anymore, because it always ends in a fight. He makes me nuts, but then I suppose I make him nuts as well, so it all evens out.

Love your schizophrenia description, though! :-)

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I suppose I make him nuts as well

The difference is that he makes you nuts because he's in a fantasy bubble and you make him nuts because you're intruding upon that bubble.

[mtee.livejournal.com]

oohhh -- I guess you might consider me a conservative. Gee, I feel like I'm looking at the world in a realistic manner -- I don't believe everything I read - from either side. I research things myself and then form an opinion based on as much fact as possible.

I may not agree with you -- I don't believe in wealth redistribution. My husband has been laid off many times and managed to work his ass off to find a better job each times. We are now comfortable but no one is secure financially. I believe gov't should assist but not control. I believe in personal responsibility. You can't expect to have a house and make lots of money if you don't finish high school. I believe big gov't is bad and if our healthcare becomes like the UK or Canada - we will all be moaning about the waits for an MRI and rationing of medicine because it's more "cost effective".

Either way - no matter what we believe -- I just don't like blanket statements. Not all liberals hate the "wealthy" -- heck most of the celebrities that talk the talk are in the top 5%. They don't all turn a blind eye to the notable scientists who state that global warming is a cyclical thing not totally man's fault (notice I said NOT totally) Not all conservatives are blind to the realistic facts of life. Nor are all conservatives book burning puritans.

Just had to put the other side in here.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

Not all conservatives are blind to the realistic facts of life.

No, but then they turn around and vote for the people who are, or who at least pretend to be.

if our healthcare becomes like the UK or Canada

This right here proves you are nowhere near as informed as you think you are, or that the bulk of your information comes from conservative talking points. The notion that English and Canadian healthcare is backward and plagued with "long waits" and "rationing" is magical thinking. Yeah, rationed medicine. That's why so many Americans go to Canada to fill their prescriptions. I know many Britons and Canadians right here on LJ and I've never met one who would trade in their healthcare system for ours. The state of our nation's overall health is ranked 40th among first-world nations. We live sicker and die younger than the entire industrialized world. Looks like all that research you do has been a little lacking. If you're so uninformed about this, I suspect you're just as poorly informed about a lot of other things.

[mtee.livejournal.com]

from MSNBC
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26794291/
http://www.liberty-page.com/issues/healthcare/socialized.html#britain

Hey -- our drug costs are awful -- yes that is why people are going to Canada - but that's not universal healthcare.

So once again - I'm giving you some sites where I'm getting my opinions.
We have problems in our hospitals -- but I don't think gov't controlling it will help.

Look at Social Security -- run by the gov't -- and in big trouble.
Massachusetts is universal - and they are having big financial troubles.

Who's going to pay for this??? Do you pay taxes?? Do you want your taxes to go up?

Have you heard of the Fair Tax?

[mtee.livejournal.com]

I do not adhere to the things on the liberty page site -- but I wanted to show you the articles from the UK.

So don't go thinking I'm some right wing radical nutcase.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I'd be delighted if my taxes went up if I knew they were paying for things like healthcare, education and our crumbling infrastructure, things that improve the quality of life for all of us. Instead, our taxes are going for endless war and CEO bailouts which benefits a tiny handful of the population that HOLDS ONTO that money rather than "trickling" it down. The same government that called expanding healthcare for needy children "socialism" is urging $700 billion in handouts for a banking industry that they helped deregulate.

If you don't believe in things like Social Security then I wish you had the option of not paying into the system and betting your retirement on the vagaries of the free market. The conservatives manage government terribly and then convince people like you that government can't handle anything, and you are so, so easily convinced. Go ahead. Bet on the free market. Be my guest. When you go to collect your retirement savings and find out they've been squittered away by market fluctuations or used to pad CEO payouts, what would you do? Pull yourself up by your 70-year-old bootstraps? Go be a minimum-wage Walmart greeter? Beg? Pray?

Have fun.

[mtee.livejournal.com]

I believe in Social SEcurity - I just think the private market would run it better -- I believe private vs govt

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I just think the private market would run it better

After the way you've seen the private market run the mortgage and banking industries in just the past few weeks...you can actually say this with what I'm assuming is a straight face?

Thank you for providing such a stellar example of conservative magical thinking. I couldn't have made you up if I tried.