Heartbreak

[oselle]

If you're like me, when you watch a show long enough and attentively enough you start guessing what the characters are going to say. I do this a lot with SPN and a lot of the time I'm right or pretty close to it. But last night there was one line in the scene between Dean and Castiel that I simply did not see coming and I thought it was the most heartbreaking line of the whole episode.

Castiel's just told Dean that because he unknowingly started the apocalypse, he's the only one who can stop it. And Dean's lying there all battered and exhausted and he can barely talk or even turn his head and he says, "Lucifer? The apocalypse?" And this is where I expected him to say, "What am I supposed to do about that?"

But instead he said, "What does that mean?" Then he said it again, "What does that mean?" And he sounded more terrified and desperate and almost panicked than I can describe. He didn't ask "what am I supposed to do" because he doesn't even have enough left in him to muster up that active of a question. He literally doesn't even know what Castiel means. Doesn't know what he or God or anyone wants from him or why they want it and oh my God. God, I wish they'd just let him be for a little while.

Comments

Re: i am afraid...

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I honestly don't think Dean was even coherent enough to make that leap. I think he literally has no idea what Castiel wants from him. I think he's completely at the end of his rope.

[muffaletta.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's how I saw it too: Dean's too overwhelmed to even process anything at that point. (And that line where about not being the man either of their dads thought..that slayed me DED.)

I think that bedside scene has now edged out both Dean's death and Dean watching Sam die as the most heartbreaking scene of the show. *wibbles*

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I think that bedside scene has now edged out both Dean's death and Dean watching Sam die as the most heartbreaking scene of the show.

YES. And what a giant kudos to Jensen Ackles for this whole episode and especially that last scene. Just when I think the guy can't top himself he does.

[vshendria.livejournal.com]

Or how about "Don't you disappear on me!" From Dean, that is a very unexpected line. He's begging for the one constant (he figures, because he doesn't know it was Sam who actually saved the day) he has left not to disappear. Dean Winchester is actually telling someone he needs them.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I know, he was just so desperate. And I really hope Sam was just down the hall getting coffee during that scene. I REALLY HOPE SO, SAM.

[oxer12.livejournal.com]

I don't know how much more broken-down Dean I can take. :-(

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I don't think it could possibly get any worse than this. What on earth is left to do him? They've made him responsible for his father's death and his brother's death, killed him, sent him to hell, made him lose his brother to the dark side and now they've made him responsible for kicking off the end of the world. I mean seriously, what's left?

[janissa11.livejournal.com]

I haven't watched it again -- I've seen downloads available, but I think -- well, it may be another day or two before I can.

God, I wish they'd just let him be for a little while.

Amen. And I think Castiel wishes the very same thing. Maybe Sam, too, not sure; I honestly don't know Sam any longer.

Thing is, SPN has a tendency not to know when enough is enough. They killed Dean often enough that it lost almost all of its impact. Dean wept enough over his actions in Hell, impact was lost.

So they actually literally destroyed him in this episode. Problem is, if he bounces back AT ALL there is no credibility left. Dean is not made of Teflon over adamantium; I think the last year has made that clear.

He could recover, sure. In a year or two, maybe. But you cannot go THIS deep, THIS destructive, and not risk losing the character completely. If in the next ep or two Dean is okay? Then THIS ep was a lie.

I dunno. Maybe Kripke et al have a fix-up planned that is SO GINORMOUS that they figure they can completely rip Dean to both literal and figurative shreds and not be too worried about it. My fear is that they have nothing like this at ALL on the books. They're making it up as they go along, and this went too far. If Dean rebounds easily from this, he lost all semblance of a human character. He is as fantastic as any demon, angel, or critter the show has ever featured.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

A giant yes to everything you said. Yes, they've finally gone ahead and destroyed Dean. I don't think that's up for debate. He might as well be dead. He's pretty much worse than dead at this point. The Dean I saw at the end of 4:16 doesn't even look like he's ever going to get out of that bed. So now what?

Next week looks like kind of a silly episode. The show has a long-standing tradition of breaking up very intense episodes with lighter fare, especially towards the end of the season. Usually I find this kind of annoying and distracting but this time around I think (I HOPE) there's a rationale behind it other than comic relief. I suspect (I HOPE) that the alternate reality events of next week's episode will be a dream or a spell or some kind of Wizard of Oz deal, while in the show's "real life" Dean is still recuperating and pulling himself together. Maybe there will even be some moral or lesson in the alternate reality that will give him some sort of reason to go on. That might be kind of a quick patch-up but at least it would be something. Because you're right -- if Dean just picks himself up and dusts himself off after THIS, he's not real. And this episode meant nothing.

Ultimately though, they CAN'T "fix" him anymore. There's just not enough of him left. It would be like trying to "fix" a house that's burned to the ground. Like you said, they've gone too far. They've got the rest of this season and a whole new season ahead of them and they're going to have to rebuild Dean. They burned him down and now they can't shirk the duty of reconstructing him into a changed man. Who will still be Dean or at least Deanish at times but the same? Never.

[mews1945.livejournal.com]

Maybe there will even be some moral or lesson in the alternate reality that will give him some sort of reason to go on.

I don't think I trust Kripke et al to do it. I'm beginning to think they're like a gang of nasty little boys stomping on an ant hill to see what'll happen.

[pensive]

All I know is that just when you think more shit can't stick to the fan:

Dean will discover Sammy's drinking demon blood and still using psychic powers.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I wonder if Sam will find out that Dean inadvertently kicked off the apocalypse?

[pensive]

Because TPTB like to ramp up tension, I imagine a demon or other similar baddie will tell Sam in order to mess with his mind (knowing he won't believe it and will probably get angry and sloppy fighting). Sam will wonder and wonder then Figure It Out. Shit will drip from the fan at that point.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I think Dean will blurt it out to him. I don't think he has the energy to keep secrets at this point.

[pensive]

*thinks about this*

You may have a point, grasshopper. I sense another brotherly showdown.

[the0neru.livejournal.com]

I really hope Sam was just down the hall getting coffee during that scene. I REALLY HOPE SO, SAM. - Yes. Because otherwise that's the only time (onscreen, anyway) that I can recall that Dean's first question upon awakening without his brother there wasn't "Where's Sam?"

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I think Dean must have woken up for the first time some time before because he was already extubated. So maybe Dean hadn't just woken up but nevertheless I hope that Sam was only taking a little break from being with him and wasn't off with Ruby somewhere.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

I agree. I didn't think it was an issue that Sam wasn't there. I figured he'd already spoken to Sam. It was important for Castiel to be there because that was the conversation Dean needed to have and we needed to see him have.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

There was just something so amazing about the whole way that scene was done. Just great work from everyone.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Oh god, what a great line. It pointed out that Dean was not only completely at a loss to what to do but that he was so human that none of this stuff never really meant anything to him. This isn't even his fight, dammit. It's like how I said in my post that 40 years in hell isn't something you can really conceive of without experiencing it. Dean knows enough to know what he doesn't know. Lucifer coming back sounds really bad, but it's like so bad that he doesn't even have a point of reference. If he's going to be, you know, TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR STOPPING AND STARTING THE WHOLE THING he ought to have more of a clue, but at this point he feels powerless and probably pretty fucking stupid and he's just going to let Castiel know it because wtf, how much worse could he look?

It's probably a familiar feeling for Dean too. Can't you imagine him as a kid struggling to understand what exactly his Dad is fighting and what he needs him to do? But there was probably so many times when little!Dean was asking just that question in his head--or even asking it aloud and not getting an answer. This is all beyond me, what does it even mean? And probably back then the best he could do was: It means somebody might hurt Sammy and I have to protect him.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

Lucifer coming back sounds really bad, but it's like so bad that he doesn't even have a point of reference. If he's going to be, you know, TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR STOPPING AND STARTING THE WHOLE THING he ought to have more of a clue, but at this point he feels powerless and probably pretty fucking stupid and he's just going to let Castiel know it because wtf, how much worse could he look?

YES. And...

It's probably a familiar feeling for Dean too.

YES. And...

And probably back then the best he could do was: It means somebody might hurt Sammy and I have to protect him.

Double YES.