Heartbreak

[oselle]

If you're like me, when you watch a show long enough and attentively enough you start guessing what the characters are going to say. I do this a lot with SPN and a lot of the time I'm right or pretty close to it. But last night there was one line in the scene between Dean and Castiel that I simply did not see coming and I thought it was the most heartbreaking line of the whole episode.

Castiel's just told Dean that because he unknowingly started the apocalypse, he's the only one who can stop it. And Dean's lying there all battered and exhausted and he can barely talk or even turn his head and he says, "Lucifer? The apocalypse?" And this is where I expected him to say, "What am I supposed to do about that?"

But instead he said, "What does that mean?" Then he said it again, "What does that mean?" And he sounded more terrified and desperate and almost panicked than I can describe. He didn't ask "what am I supposed to do" because he doesn't even have enough left in him to muster up that active of a question. He literally doesn't even know what Castiel means. Doesn't know what he or God or anyone wants from him or why they want it and oh my God. God, I wish they'd just let him be for a little while.