Heartbreak

[oselle]

If you're like me, when you watch a show long enough and attentively enough you start guessing what the characters are going to say. I do this a lot with SPN and a lot of the time I'm right or pretty close to it. But last night there was one line in the scene between Dean and Castiel that I simply did not see coming and I thought it was the most heartbreaking line of the whole episode.

Castiel's just told Dean that because he unknowingly started the apocalypse, he's the only one who can stop it. And Dean's lying there all battered and exhausted and he can barely talk or even turn his head and he says, "Lucifer? The apocalypse?" And this is where I expected him to say, "What am I supposed to do about that?"

But instead he said, "What does that mean?" Then he said it again, "What does that mean?" And he sounded more terrified and desperate and almost panicked than I can describe. He didn't ask "what am I supposed to do" because he doesn't even have enough left in him to muster up that active of a question. He literally doesn't even know what Castiel means. Doesn't know what he or God or anyone wants from him or why they want it and oh my God. God, I wish they'd just let him be for a little while.

Comments

[muffaletta.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's how I saw it too: Dean's too overwhelmed to even process anything at that point. (And that line where about not being the man either of their dads thought..that slayed me DED.)

I think that bedside scene has now edged out both Dean's death and Dean watching Sam die as the most heartbreaking scene of the show. *wibbles*

[vshendria.livejournal.com]

Or how about "Don't you disappear on me!" From Dean, that is a very unexpected line. He's begging for the one constant (he figures, because he doesn't know it was Sam who actually saved the day) he has left not to disappear. Dean Winchester is actually telling someone he needs them.

[oxer12.livejournal.com]

I don't know how much more broken-down Dean I can take. :-(

[janissa11.livejournal.com]

I haven't watched it again -- I've seen downloads available, but I think -- well, it may be another day or two before I can.

God, I wish they'd just let him be for a little while.

Amen. And I think Castiel wishes the very same thing. Maybe Sam, too, not sure; I honestly don't know Sam any longer.

Thing is, SPN has a tendency not to know when enough is enough. They killed Dean often enough that it lost almost all of its impact. Dean wept enough over his actions in Hell, impact was lost.

So they actually literally destroyed him in this episode. Problem is, if he bounces back AT ALL there is no credibility left. Dean is not made of Teflon over adamantium; I think the last year has made that clear.

He could recover, sure. In a year or two, maybe. But you cannot go THIS deep, THIS destructive, and not risk losing the character completely. If in the next ep or two Dean is okay? Then THIS ep was a lie.

I dunno. Maybe Kripke et al have a fix-up planned that is SO GINORMOUS that they figure they can completely rip Dean to both literal and figurative shreds and not be too worried about it. My fear is that they have nothing like this at ALL on the books. They're making it up as they go along, and this went too far. If Dean rebounds easily from this, he lost all semblance of a human character. He is as fantastic as any demon, angel, or critter the show has ever featured.

[pensive]

All I know is that just when you think more shit can't stick to the fan:

Dean will discover Sammy's drinking demon blood and still using psychic powers.

[the0neru.livejournal.com]

I really hope Sam was just down the hall getting coffee during that scene. I REALLY HOPE SO, SAM. - Yes. Because otherwise that's the only time (onscreen, anyway) that I can recall that Dean's first question upon awakening without his brother there wasn't "Where's Sam?"

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Oh god, what a great line. It pointed out that Dean was not only completely at a loss to what to do but that he was so human that none of this stuff never really meant anything to him. This isn't even his fight, dammit. It's like how I said in my post that 40 years in hell isn't something you can really conceive of without experiencing it. Dean knows enough to know what he doesn't know. Lucifer coming back sounds really bad, but it's like so bad that he doesn't even have a point of reference. If he's going to be, you know, TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR STOPPING AND STARTING THE WHOLE THING he ought to have more of a clue, but at this point he feels powerless and probably pretty fucking stupid and he's just going to let Castiel know it because wtf, how much worse could he look?

It's probably a familiar feeling for Dean too. Can't you imagine him as a kid struggling to understand what exactly his Dad is fighting and what he needs him to do? But there was probably so many times when little!Dean was asking just that question in his head--or even asking it aloud and not getting an answer. This is all beyond me, what does it even mean? And probably back then the best he could do was: It means somebody might hurt Sammy and I have to protect him.