Letting Myself Go
Dec. 16th, 2009 08:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Last week I was so busy at work that I went three days without washing my hair. I just didn't have time in the morning and didn't have the energy at night. I was using this dry shampoo shit and don't let anyone tell you it "refreshes" your do. It don't. It's just sicky-sweet fragranced corn starch. If you have oily hair like I do it turns your hair into a sort of mass that would probably look kind of sexily tousled on a younger or more attractive person but just make me look like an unkempt drunk who never made it home the night before.
I've always been kind of rigidly fussy about my personal hygiene and appearance and I don't know why. It's never done me a whit of good. I discovered last week that, for now at least, I kind of like being dirty. It saves me a lot of time and effort and is a highly satisfying outward expression of how I feel on the inside. I've stopped showering in the morning altogether. I shower and wash my hair the night before and then in the morning I do the bare basics: comb hair, brush teeth, put in contact lenses, apply antiperspirant. I get dressed pretty much in whatever comes to hand. Last week I literally went to work in some clothes that had been piled up on the floor. Add to that routine a quick cup of tea and the mandatory morning crap and I can be out the door in one hour or less. This morning I was at the bus stop by 7:20 am. The sun was barely up. I felt a sort of weird, masochistic glee at standing there in the dawn cold all grungy and frumpy. If I hadn't had to stop off and buy bagels for a stupid office party I would've gotten to work at 8:00. Generally I've been getting to work around 8:15. Even my boss doesn't get in until half an hour later. She still gives me this look like, "What are YOU doing here?"
Most of the people in my office are latecomers. It's surreal to have to turn the lights on in the office and then watch people start to trickle in after you've already been there for an hour...or two hours or more. Even more surreal to watch the same people blithely sailing out the door at 4:00 or 4:30 (if they make it that far) and then listen to them complain about how busy they are. You're busy, huh? Maybe working more than five hours a day would help you out with that.
I don't know how long this will last but right now, like I said, there's something masochistically pleasing about it. I've been taking the Long Island Rail Road to work in the morning and I keep trying to catch an earlier and earlier train. I went from the 8:17 to the 8:01 to the 7:46 and, this morning, the 7:43. A new record. LOL, if this keeps up I'll be standing on that platform in the fucking dark. Bring it. I'll catch the five a.m. and pay off-peak fare. Dirty hair and all.
I've always been kind of rigidly fussy about my personal hygiene and appearance and I don't know why. It's never done me a whit of good. I discovered last week that, for now at least, I kind of like being dirty. It saves me a lot of time and effort and is a highly satisfying outward expression of how I feel on the inside. I've stopped showering in the morning altogether. I shower and wash my hair the night before and then in the morning I do the bare basics: comb hair, brush teeth, put in contact lenses, apply antiperspirant. I get dressed pretty much in whatever comes to hand. Last week I literally went to work in some clothes that had been piled up on the floor. Add to that routine a quick cup of tea and the mandatory morning crap and I can be out the door in one hour or less. This morning I was at the bus stop by 7:20 am. The sun was barely up. I felt a sort of weird, masochistic glee at standing there in the dawn cold all grungy and frumpy. If I hadn't had to stop off and buy bagels for a stupid office party I would've gotten to work at 8:00. Generally I've been getting to work around 8:15. Even my boss doesn't get in until half an hour later. She still gives me this look like, "What are YOU doing here?"
Most of the people in my office are latecomers. It's surreal to have to turn the lights on in the office and then watch people start to trickle in after you've already been there for an hour...or two hours or more. Even more surreal to watch the same people blithely sailing out the door at 4:00 or 4:30 (if they make it that far) and then listen to them complain about how busy they are. You're busy, huh? Maybe working more than five hours a day would help you out with that.
I don't know how long this will last but right now, like I said, there's something masochistically pleasing about it. I've been taking the Long Island Rail Road to work in the morning and I keep trying to catch an earlier and earlier train. I went from the 8:17 to the 8:01 to the 7:46 and, this morning, the 7:43. A new record. LOL, if this keeps up I'll be standing on that platform in the fucking dark. Bring it. I'll catch the five a.m. and pay off-peak fare. Dirty hair and all.
no subject
Date: 2010-01-12 01:56 am (UTC)