Senile Folks Say the Darndest Things!

[oselle]

My mother has Alzheimer's and I'll tell you, sometimes you've gotta overlook the horror of that and realize what it is: COMEDY GOLD!

We're in a taxicab coming home from the doctor's office today. The driver's careening along at about 80 mph on the Triborough Bridge. My mother turns to me -- we're both in the backseat -- and says: "Wow, you're a great driver!"

Ba-doom-boom!

Comments

[morganslady.livejournal.com]

God Bless her!! sitting here laughing.. Maybe she was referring to all the times she was told not to be a back seat driver.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

She's actually much more pleasant than when she wasn't senile. I remember really driving with her back then and she'd sit there in the passenger seat sucking air in between her teeth like I was about to deliberately cause a 12-car pileup. "Why do you need that radio on! Stop going so fast! Put your blinker on!" LOL! Now I just say, "I AM a great driver...so great I can drive this car all the way from the backseat!" and she just laughs.

[mirabile-dictu.livejournal.com]

That is so sad, and so funny all at once. My mother had a friend who fell into Alzheimer's, and I must say I felt guilty a lot because the things she said and did could be so cute.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

You just learn to go with the flow because they really do say the craziest shit. Today the doctor said, "I notice you don't correct the things she says," and I was like...why would I? If she says it's 1930, what do I give a shit? Does she need to know it's 2010? What good will that do her? What good would it do me to spend the effort to tell her it's 2010? Fuck, I spend most of my time having imaginary conversations with Dean Winchester in my head so who am I to talk?

[sixth-queen.livejournal.com]

If she says it's 1930, she's probably not far off. Economically it feels a little like 1930. I just hope we can settle this one without a world war.

[tskterata.livejournal.com]

Thanks - I needed a good laugh today!

Also, although my father is not actually senile, he is WAY easier to deal with now that his brain has been fogged by old age and Parkinson's. He used to be such a stressed-out, angry hard-ass - now he lets most things just roll over him. Also, also - the Parkinson's meds make him cry at the drop of a hat, which irks him to no end, but lets the rest of us see emotions that he would never display whilst we were growing up. In my 15 years living with the man the only time I ever saw him cry was when our cat died (Duke was a truly AWESOME cat, though, and worth every tear).

And now I will stop writing, some idiot provided wine at work this afternoon and my boundaries are all shot to hell.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

My mother is a much sweeter person now than she ever was before she got sick. Frankly, she's not the same person at all. The person I grew up with was a passive-aggressive, manipulative, frequently abusive nutcase. Except for the aggravation and pathetic gross-out factor of someone who's losing the ability to manage even the simplest bodily functions, she's much more pleasant to be around.

My father, however, is still a loudmouth pain in my ass. LOL...she has Alzheimers, he just has ASSheimers!

[claudia603.livejournal.com]

lol! My grandmother has alzheimer's and for awhile, conversations with her when she still sort of knew who we were were very Alice and Wonderland. Now she wants to be promiscuous with everyone in the alzheimer's home!

[oselle.livejournal.com]

Oh, God I hope it doesn't come to that.

Do you have any advice on how to find a good home? Because this in-home thing isn't going to work for very long, no matter how much the state of NY insists that it's the best option. I can already see that.

[claudia603.livejournal.com]

well, I don't really have advice about finding a home, but the place where my grandmother is is in a place in the San Francisco area that is a home especially designed for Alzheimer's patients. She is FAR happier there than she was at home, where she was insistent that her husband (my grandfather who passed away last year) was some "man who was holding her hostage." and she was constantly trying to escape. She was found out on the street on more than one occasion in the middle of the night screaming about wanting to go home...Gosh, I wish I could remember the name of this home she's in because that might help give you an idea of the kinds of places that are out there...

[samaranth.livejournal.com]

I'm laughing and crying in about equal measure. It's strange about the driving thing. My mother (with senile dementia) tells me every single time how long she drove cars. It started at 60 years, which was about right, but is now well up in the late 80s. Which would mean that she first got her licence when she was about 5. There's no point correcting her, five minutes later she'll tell me the same story all over again. And then again,and again. Sometimes the memories aren't even real, like the time she had breakfast with the Queen. At least that one sparked quite a conversation about the royal family's preferred breakfast cereal.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

My mother also exaggerates things she did, or talks about things that never happened. For a while she was convinced that my father and her deceased brother were involved in some sort of interstate gambling ring. Jeez, I WISH. Maybe we'd have some money if that were true.

[pdragon76.livejournal.com]

My puppa died about three years ago from Alzheimer's. He was frequently hilarious too, but when people tried to correct him he would get frustrated and thump them like a big ole angry bear. He got kicked out of I-don't-know-how-many aged care facilities until we found this GENIUS place that had this bus stop in their garden area.

Every time Puppa got violent and demanded to go home, the nurses helped him pack his bags and took him out to the fake bus stop and stood there talking to him until he forgot why he was out there. Then they welcomed him home and asked if he needed some help with his bags. Puppa would answer that he supposed he did, so the nurse would pick up his bags and walk him right back into the ward and help him unpack again.

I loved the people who worked there like burning. You have no idea. *smishes them*

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I think in-facility care is inevitable, even though there's really no way to pay for it here except out-of-pocket. I already know a place where one of my friend's mother is living (also with severe Alzheimers) and both my friend and her husband say the level of care there is exceptional (and not terriblye expensive). I've seen the place for myself and think it's lovely -- and occupies a beautiful piece of beachfront property on Long Island Sound. Visit my mom, work on my tan...what's so bad about that?

[elwenlj.livejournal.com]

ROTFL!

Maggie Simpson eat your heart out

[oselle.livejournal.com]

Maybe I'll get a little plastic steering wheel for our next taxi ride -- LOL, fun with Alzheimers!!

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

LOL! Okay, that's classic. If you have to deal with the disease, the least you can do is get some amusement from things like that.

[cpsings4him.livejournal.com]

I just laughed so loud that I got a funny look from a co-worker walking down the hall. :p I think it's good to find the humor in these otherwise very dark situations.