Ringing Those Bells

[oselle]

Sarah Palin is hardly worth talking about, but these soundbites from her current cross-country tour of great American landmarks are too good to pass up:

In Boston, reflecting upon Paul Revere:

"He who warned, uh, the British that they weren't going to be taking away our arms uh by ringing those bells and making sure as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be secure and we were going to be free and we were going to be armed."

Palin's just a few years older than I am, so I know if they were teaching Paul Revere's Ride during my gradeschool days, they were sure as hell teaching it during hers. Frankly, Paul Revere's Ride is one of the few tidbits of American Revolution history that is remotely captivating to a grade-schooler. I remember the story and I'm an America-hating liberal. I wonder why a great patriot like Palin doesn't seem to know anything about it.

In New York, at the Statue of Liberty:

"This Statue of Liberty was gifted to us by foreign leaders, really as a warning to us, it was a warning to us to stay unique and to stay exceptional from other countries. Certainly not to go down the path of other countries that adopted socialist policies."

This is getting like that TV show, Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? Regarding Sarah Palin, I think the answer is a resounding "no."

Palin is obviously ignorant of even the simplest tourist-trap factoids about American history, so she makes up her own. Not surprisingly, she fabricates versions that support her extreme conservative beliefs. So the Statue of Liberty becomes some kind of coded warning from France not to turn into...France (France is just one of the countries that American conservatives consider part of the great Axis of Godless Socialism). Paul Revere's Ride morphs into a stirring tale of gun rights (which is especially hilarious considering that Al-Quaeda released a video yesterday instructing would-be terrorists on how easy it is to buy guns in the U.S., literally saying, "So what are you waiting for!?")

It doesn't even matter that she's being widely mocked for stuff like this. First of all, it plays into her never-ending claim that the "lamestream media" is out to get her, and her followers eat that up. Second, she doesn't give a shit about real American history, she only cares about the extreme-right conservatism that she thinks is the real story of America. Her followers eat that up too, and an awful lot of them think she'd make a great president.

Comments

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

I wonder if she makes this stuff up on the fly. Like, do people know this is what she thinks of these places? Does she just go because she's heard of them and then in that moment when she looks at them this alternate story for what they mean just comes to her in a flash and comes out of her mouth? It's an artform in a sense.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I think people advise her on which landmarks to visit and then she just makes up a conservative treatise to go with them. The Statue of Liberty comment was part of a prepared speech, the one in Boston was an off-the-cuff remark to a reporter, but both have the same nonsensical surreality, which to me indicates that it's all just made up on the fly. I doubt that she puts any more real thought into her speeches than she does into her interviews or her tweets.

If she weren't so dangerous, this could be a really fun game -- match the landmark to a cherished bit of conservative ideology! Anyone can play! The Grand Canyon would be a great place to link the wonders of creation to the idea that America's founding fathers wouldn't agree with teaching evolution (bonus points if you can take a slam at the government-funded public school system). The St. Louis Arch is a symbol of manifest destiny so that clearly translates into drill baby, drill. Anything to do with the Civil War could easily support an abortion ban now that they're trying to equate abortion with slavery. See how easy it is! I just made those three up right now, putting no more effort into it than I'm sure Ms. Palin does.