I Stand Corrected

[oselle]

In my last post I said that conservative Christians should stop calling themselves Christians because they don't follow the word of Christ. Never let it be said that I'm unwilling to admit when I'm wrong because I now have good evidence that at least one conservative Christian is paying very close attention to the word of Christ. Or at least, the words of Christ.

"An American Christian has produced a brief film for YouTube that connects one statement by Jesus in the Gospel of Luke to President Barack Obama.

His 4-minute video focuses on the direct quote: "I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven." (Luke 10:18)

"When I started doing a little research, I found the Greek word for 'lightning' is 'astrape', and the Hebrew equivalent is 'Baraq,'" said YouTube contributor "ppsimmons," a self-described Christian with a theological education and many years in the ministry, who spoke to WND under condition of anonymity out of concern for members of his local church. "I thought that was fascinating."

As he continued looking into the rest of the words in the phrase, he focused on "heaven," and found that it can refer not just to God's dwelling place, but also "the heights" or "high places."

He then recalled Isaiah 14:14, where Lucifer, another name for Satan, is quoted as saying, "I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High."

"I wondered what the word 'heights' is," said ppsimmons, "and I looked it up in the dictionary, and it's 'Bamah.'"

Thus, on the video, the announcer notes, "If spoken by a Jewish rabbi today, influenced by the poetry of Isaiah, He (Jesus) would say these words in Hebrew ... 'I saw Satan as Baraq Ubamah.'"

Yes, of course. Why would anyone bother with boring, preachy claptrap like the Sermon on the Mount when they could be conjuring up fun "Paul is Dead"-style conspiracy theories? Say, I wonder what messages you get when you play a Toby Keith album backwards? Maybe "Where's the Birth Certificate?"

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!

Comments

[mara-snh.livejournal.com]

OMFG! You've gotta send that to Wonkette. It'll go perfectly with the fake Kenyan birth certificate, q.v.

EDIT: Oh, I see it's from Crooks & Liars, so I guess Wonkette has it. But still. Just, oh wow.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I so love that fake birth certificate from the "Republic of Kenya" THAT DIDN'T EVEN EXIST YET!!!!!! And you know what? 70% OF SOUTHERN REPUBLICANS WILL STILL THINK IT'S REAL!!!!!!!!!

[mara-snh.livejournal.com]

There are something like 96 things wrong with that fake certificate, including its prototype having been lifted directly from an Australian form, complete with the same original ledger number and filing fee given in pence. Here's a full rundown, for those following your thread who might not have seen it:

http://washingtonindependent.com/53494/birthers-latch-onto-forged-kenyan-birth-certificate

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

I love how "I find that fascinating" can be code for "Let's pretend this means the president I didn't vote for is Satan!"

[oselle.livejournal.com]

Oh yes. I think The Daily Show has done a couple of bits on how "I find it interesting..." or "It's just interesting that..." has become a sneaky way of saying that one's crazy blather is, in fact, a carefully investigated and well thought-out truth.

[oxer12.livejournal.com]

Oh, for fuck's sake. I never ceased to be amazed by the stupidity. If my friend came to me with this one, that would be the end of it. I can only take so much dysfunction before I explode.

Umm, I mean LOL!

[oselle.livejournal.com]

What's extra LOLy is how many people are going to believe this.

[pearlette.livejournal.com]

When people misuse the Bible like this, I have no words. :(

I see that your man Slacktivist recommends Mark Noll's The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind. I think it's high time I read this.

http://www.amazon.com/Scandal-Evangelical-Mind-Mark-Noll/dp/0802841805

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I'd hoped that you would read some of Slacktivist's journal because it'll give you a pretty good idea of what evangelism looks like here in America. It's scary as hell and whatever it is, Christian it ain't. More like willful ignorance. I'm expecting we'll start burning "witches" again any day now.

[claudia603.livejournal.com]

That's one of the best LOLs ever.

I'm LOLing so I don't cry!

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I'm LOLing and crying at the same time!

[ancalime8301]

"If spoken by a Jewish rabbi today, influenced by the poetry of Isaiah, He (Jesus) would say these words in Hebrew ... 'I saw Satan as Baraq Ubamah.'"

Because "I saw Satan as" is totally Hebrew. :p Plus the beginning part of that sentence makes no sense.

Do these people ever listen to themselves? I'd *love* to tell them to get out of my religion, they're making us sane ones look bad...

[oselle.livejournal.com]

LOL..."if spoken by a Jewish rabbi." LOL, what if they were spoken by, say, a Methodist Rabbi? LOLOLOLOL!

[ancalime8301]

Ha, good point!