SPN 6:14: Mannequin 3

[oselle]

Yeah, I know "The Cringing" wasn't the real title, but it sorta fits.

Based on the first 15 minutes or so, I thought we were in for a decent old-fashioned MoTW episode. A little bloody, a little creepy (those anatomy dummies have always freaked me out), the rather adorable reappearance of the EMF monitor.

Then all of a sudden...oh God...I'm in Lisa Braeden's living room watching her and Dean hash out their domestic issues against a soundtrack of sappy strings. I'm in Ben's bedroom listening to an eleven-year-old lecture Dean on the meaning of family. More sappy strings. And then OH GOD IN HEAVEN WHY GOD WHY I'm actually sitting there watching a montage -- A MONTAGE!!! -- of Dean-n-Lisa's Greatest Moments that was as laughably maudlin as anything I've ever seen on daytime TV...no no no, it was MORE laughably maudlin because I expect to see that shit on daytime TV.

Oh lord...I went into a full-body cringe. Literally, I was huddled up on the couch in a fetal position. Even my toes cramped in on each other.

If not for that I'd be ranting about how Sam basically let two murderers get off scot free (There were four guys who pranked that girl, weren't there? And only two were killed by the ghost?). I'd also be ranting about how disgusting it was for Sam to apparently have no intention of telling that woman what had happened to her sister, and to let her go on thinking that she was just missing, not lying charbroiled in a shallow grave somewhere in New Jersey. I thought Sam got his soul back? What?

Or I might be talking about how that dummy on the bed didn't look much like a sex doll. Real sex dolls always have their mouths open.

Or I might be laughing over how funny Jensen looks when he runs because that never fails to crack me up. It must be those fuckin bowlegs of his. He runs like George Costanza.

But no...I can't talk about any of that because of THE MONTAGE. THE MONTAGE OF HORRIBLE SAPPY CRAPPY WTF MAKE IT STOP HORRIBLENESS. And THE STRINGS. And THE PARENT TRAP. And OHMYGODKILLMENOW!!!!!!!!

C-R-I-N-G-E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then just as I was getting unkinked, THE GODAWFUL PREVIEW of next week's GODAWFUL META EPISODE came on and I pretzeled up again. I actually felt my bowels shrivel. My friggin sphincter tried to crawl up into my intestines. By next Saturday I'm gonna need to spend two hours on a massage table getting rolfed out so I can stand up straight again. I'll probably need an enema too just to get my works moving. I plan to send the bill directly to Sera Gamble.

Comments

[martin-rose.livejournal.com]

For the time being they dropped the subplot they were building with Death's "Keep digging" bit; but I think I figured it out, and I hope it stays dropped. I suspect they might have been building toward something potentially worse than the Lisa and Dean's greatest hits montage . . . I'm gonna wait until I'm 80 to watch the rest of the season, and all this will seem new and refreshing for a change . . .

[oselle.livejournal.com]

What did you figure out? What on earth could be worse than The Montage?

[martin-rose.livejournal.com]

I could be totally wrong, but, my guts telling me this: if Mary and John W couldn't be found in Heaven in the "Dark Side of the Moon" ep, and they certainly aren't in Hell, well . . . they must be in purgatory . . . which opens a whole new can of worms. Because if in the SPN universe, monsters end up in purgatory, well, you can follow that thought where it leads. Sticky questions over Sam and Dean's parentage/ancestry.

That would tie in nicely with Crowley's promise to deliver Samuel his daughter -- a delivery that hung upon Samuel's efforts to discover purgatory so Crowley could keep up his end of the deal in exchange for his services.

The only thing worse than a montage is a family reunion.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I don't think they could do that, if only because they probably wouldn't be able to get Jeffrey Dean Morgan...although I suppose they could always get the actor who played young John and have him come back that way.

I had thought for a while that Samuel Campbell was making a deal with Crowley to go back in time and kill the YED before Mary could ever make a deal with him...and that the series would end with a Back to the Future scenario in which the entire Winchester saga never happened and Sam and Dean grew up in a normal life. But now Crowley's gone and I'm pretty sure the series isn't being canceled this year...can't say I'm sorry because that was a dreadful speculation on my part.