SPN 6:14: Mannequin 3

[oselle]

Yeah, I know "The Cringing" wasn't the real title, but it sorta fits.

Based on the first 15 minutes or so, I thought we were in for a decent old-fashioned MoTW episode. A little bloody, a little creepy (those anatomy dummies have always freaked me out), the rather adorable reappearance of the EMF monitor.

Then all of a sudden...oh God...I'm in Lisa Braeden's living room watching her and Dean hash out their domestic issues against a soundtrack of sappy strings. I'm in Ben's bedroom listening to an eleven-year-old lecture Dean on the meaning of family. More sappy strings. And then OH GOD IN HEAVEN WHY GOD WHY I'm actually sitting there watching a montage -- A MONTAGE!!! -- of Dean-n-Lisa's Greatest Moments that was as laughably maudlin as anything I've ever seen on daytime TV...no no no, it was MORE laughably maudlin because I expect to see that shit on daytime TV.

Oh lord...I went into a full-body cringe. Literally, I was huddled up on the couch in a fetal position. Even my toes cramped in on each other.

If not for that I'd be ranting about how Sam basically let two murderers get off scot free (There were four guys who pranked that girl, weren't there? And only two were killed by the ghost?). I'd also be ranting about how disgusting it was for Sam to apparently have no intention of telling that woman what had happened to her sister, and to let her go on thinking that she was just missing, not lying charbroiled in a shallow grave somewhere in New Jersey. I thought Sam got his soul back? What?

Or I might be talking about how that dummy on the bed didn't look much like a sex doll. Real sex dolls always have their mouths open.

Or I might be laughing over how funny Jensen looks when he runs because that never fails to crack me up. It must be those fuckin bowlegs of his. He runs like George Costanza.

But no...I can't talk about any of that because of THE MONTAGE. THE MONTAGE OF HORRIBLE SAPPY CRAPPY WTF MAKE IT STOP HORRIBLENESS. And THE STRINGS. And THE PARENT TRAP. And OHMYGODKILLMENOW!!!!!!!!

C-R-I-N-G-E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then just as I was getting unkinked, THE GODAWFUL PREVIEW of next week's GODAWFUL META EPISODE came on and I pretzeled up again. I actually felt my bowels shrivel. My friggin sphincter tried to crawl up into my intestines. By next Saturday I'm gonna need to spend two hours on a massage table getting rolfed out so I can stand up straight again. I'll probably need an enema too just to get my works moving. I plan to send the bill directly to Sera Gamble.

Comments

[shoofus.livejournal.com]

amen. i think a stake in the heart of the show is about the only solution now...no, i think it got staked already and we are watching the death paroxysms...

[zatnikatel.livejournal.com]

It could have been worse: they could have set that montage to REOSpeedForeigner…

[big-pink.livejournal.com]

Seriously. It's all I can do not to leave comment here in ALL FUCKING CAPS. W.T.F. The montageyness of the whole thing was at first cringy and then it was goofy and then it was surreal and now I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy about it because I truly believe that given next week's ep, this ep may seem stellar.
*dies a little inside and not in a good way*

[twirlycurls.livejournal.com]

God, that was awful, just really awful. I hate domestic Dean, I hate the new-and-revised Lisa & Ben, and it's clear that the writers are going to drag this crap out for the duration of the show.

"I'm in Ben's bedroom listening to an eleven-year-old lecture Dean on the meaning of family."

A-FUCKING-MEN. What the hell is wrong with these writers? Kids do not talk like that. They most especially do not talk like that to mom's ex-boyfriend. Give me a fucking break.

The preview. I just can't believe they're doing another meta episode. Shouldn't they be devoting their few remaining episodes to righting this train-wreck of a season? Don't we have a big bad that needs development and lingering plots about purgatory, souls, a war in heaven, another brother still trapped in hell, etc?

[muffaletta.livejournal.com]

Hey, don't you all be knocking Dean's domestic pseudo storyline! If it werent' for that, the only thing he'd be doing this season is wringing his hands over poor Sammy's special tortured soul. It's a coin toss which fate is worse at this point- I'm voting for Sam's caretaker, part 6, myself. Although, that montage.....*ponders*

Poor Jensen. Even he's hoping for a more solid storyline for Dean next season. ALthough if Sera's still in charge, Dean getting to hold the EMF meter and solving a case once in awhile might be an upgrade.

[ann-tara.livejournal.com]

First of all, The Twilight Zone did mannequins better than anyone else. Second prize goes to Doctor Who. As for this, it was not just a clusterfuck of epic proportions thanks to the Winchesters - it was worse. It was boring.

And, excuse Miss Lisa - didn't you break the hell up with Dean? Didn't you ignore all his phone calls after the vamp incident, then tell him in no uncertain terms that you and Ben wanted nothing to do with him? And now it's his fault for not calling? Bitch, please. Talk about a retcon. I know the season feels like it's dragging on, but the episode really wasn't that long ago.

Eh, whatever, honestly that took more effort to type than I really feel about the episode overall.

[mulder200.livejournal.com]

As I suspected, another eps. not worth my time. I am so sorry for your loss of time. And I am so sorry that SPN has turned into this shit! Sera and Company have killed it dead.

If there is another season after this, i will be amazed!

And while I am tired of Meta's eps., this one was written By Ben Edlund so I have hopes it won't suck.

[martin-rose.livejournal.com]

For the time being they dropped the subplot they were building with Death's "Keep digging" bit; but I think I figured it out, and I hope it stays dropped. I suspect they might have been building toward something potentially worse than the Lisa and Dean's greatest hits montage . . . I'm gonna wait until I'm 80 to watch the rest of the season, and all this will seem new and refreshing for a change . . .

[kiltiebum.livejournal.com]

It was the music that got me.
I heard something similar whilst in an elevator in 1986, I think.

I really, really hope they're saving up their pennies for some serious cock rock in future eps, because I couldn't concentrate on the story for that pap they piped out to us.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Oh god, I'd forgotten the montage. Laughing over the dinner table! Were there even some tossing off soap suds during family fun time? Good lord.

Honestly, what's the point of that whole thing now? First Lisa set up what seemed to be the plan that she and Dean would just be friendly fuck buddies and he'd come into town when he was there. Then she broke up with him because of the hunting. Now why is she calling him and saying she's trying to get over him?

I'll give Ben a pass since it's not like he was consulted and I guess it's only logical that he would just want Dean around all the time but still, I can't really feel like it's so important that Dean stay away from Ben so he doesn't become a hunter. He might grow up to just be one of those people on the fringes of it. But then...it's not like I want a kid in the backseat so...

Yeah, funny how those guys weren't judged too harshly by the ep for their prank, huh? It's almost like the show kind of understood that it's just human nature to feel the need to prank the lonelyhearts that way.

[shoofus.livejournal.com]

this actually gave me my one laugh about that ep, sooo on target

http://www.thewinchesterfamilybusiness.com/article-list/category15/16085-fun-strategies-for-watching-a-filler-episode.html

[liptonrm.livejournal.com]

Trufax: I watched maybe a third of that episode straight on. The rest of it I spent staring at the fireplace or talking shit with Baylor while things happened on the TV.

Also, Some People (whose names begin with a B) might have said that "except for all the Lisa stuff" this was the best epsiode this season. Though, in her defense, she was a little tipsy at the time.

I have to go to Frankenmuth for a Girl's Weekend with my mother, aunt, cousin, and sister-in-law next Friday. Knowing that I'll be missing the meta episode almost makes the horror of spending that much time with my female relatives worth it. Almost.

It was a Montage.

[oxer12.livejournal.com]

This thread is hilarious. :D

During The Montage, all I could think about was the song from Team America: World Police - "We need a montage!" God, I love that movie.

[ghyste.livejournal.com]

Based on the first 15 minutes or so, I thought we were in for a decent old-fashioned MoTW episode. A little bloody, a little creepy (those anatomy dummies have always freaked me out), the rather adorable reappearance of the EMF monitor. Then all of a sudden...oh God...I'm in Lisa Braeden's living room watching her and Dean hash out their domestic issues against a soundtrack of sappy strings.

That pretty much summarises most of my own review, but far more succinctly!

Also, I guess in this case one of the benefits of watching the show on download was that I didn't have to suffer the preview for next week's.