SPN 6:14: Mannequin 3

[oselle]

Yeah, I know "The Cringing" wasn't the real title, but it sorta fits.

Based on the first 15 minutes or so, I thought we were in for a decent old-fashioned MoTW episode. A little bloody, a little creepy (those anatomy dummies have always freaked me out), the rather adorable reappearance of the EMF monitor.

Then all of a sudden...oh God...I'm in Lisa Braeden's living room watching her and Dean hash out their domestic issues against a soundtrack of sappy strings. I'm in Ben's bedroom listening to an eleven-year-old lecture Dean on the meaning of family. More sappy strings. And then OH GOD IN HEAVEN WHY GOD WHY I'm actually sitting there watching a montage -- A MONTAGE!!! -- of Dean-n-Lisa's Greatest Moments that was as laughably maudlin as anything I've ever seen on daytime TV...no no no, it was MORE laughably maudlin because I expect to see that shit on daytime TV.

Oh lord...I went into a full-body cringe. Literally, I was huddled up on the couch in a fetal position. Even my toes cramped in on each other.

If not for that I'd be ranting about how Sam basically let two murderers get off scot free (There were four guys who pranked that girl, weren't there? And only two were killed by the ghost?). I'd also be ranting about how disgusting it was for Sam to apparently have no intention of telling that woman what had happened to her sister, and to let her go on thinking that she was just missing, not lying charbroiled in a shallow grave somewhere in New Jersey. I thought Sam got his soul back? What?

Or I might be talking about how that dummy on the bed didn't look much like a sex doll. Real sex dolls always have their mouths open.

Or I might be laughing over how funny Jensen looks when he runs because that never fails to crack me up. It must be those fuckin bowlegs of his. He runs like George Costanza.

But no...I can't talk about any of that because of THE MONTAGE. THE MONTAGE OF HORRIBLE SAPPY CRAPPY WTF MAKE IT STOP HORRIBLENESS. And THE STRINGS. And THE PARENT TRAP. And OHMYGODKILLMENOW!!!!!!!!

C-R-I-N-G-E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then just as I was getting unkinked, THE GODAWFUL PREVIEW of next week's GODAWFUL META EPISODE came on and I pretzeled up again. I actually felt my bowels shrivel. My friggin sphincter tried to crawl up into my intestines. By next Saturday I'm gonna need to spend two hours on a massage table getting rolfed out so I can stand up straight again. I'll probably need an enema too just to get my works moving. I plan to send the bill directly to Sera Gamble.

Comments

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Oh god, I'd forgotten the montage. Laughing over the dinner table! Were there even some tossing off soap suds during family fun time? Good lord.

Honestly, what's the point of that whole thing now? First Lisa set up what seemed to be the plan that she and Dean would just be friendly fuck buddies and he'd come into town when he was there. Then she broke up with him because of the hunting. Now why is she calling him and saying she's trying to get over him?

I'll give Ben a pass since it's not like he was consulted and I guess it's only logical that he would just want Dean around all the time but still, I can't really feel like it's so important that Dean stay away from Ben so he doesn't become a hunter. He might grow up to just be one of those people on the fringes of it. But then...it's not like I want a kid in the backseat so...

Yeah, funny how those guys weren't judged too harshly by the ep for their prank, huh? It's almost like the show kind of understood that it's just human nature to feel the need to prank the lonelyhearts that way.

[oselle.livejournal.com]

I almost wish I'd recorded that episode so I could count off how many awful cliches there were in The Montage. I think it was when Dean and Lisa were giggling in bed that I really lost it. The only thing that was missing was a long walk on the beach. Although that might have been in there, I don't know. I watched it with my hands over my eyes, like a horror movie.

Now why is she calling him and saying she's trying to get over him?

I think she meant that she tried to reach him six times to talk things over and then when he didn't answer she decided to move on and start dating. Or something. I honestly don't care. This whole relationship was such a trumped up contrivance from the get-go that there's no way I could ever be invested in it. Which is yet another thing that irritated me so much while I was enduring the schmaltz. This whole storyline was nothing a bolt-hole filler and now I'm supposed to get all misty about it?

Yeah, funny how those guys weren't judged too harshly by the ep for their prank, huh?

I think they took their inspiration from Neil LaBute, but the whole thing was so poorly thought out. The idea that this girl was crushingly shy but would still be adventurous enough to rendezvous with some "secret admirer" at his apartment? The four guys hiding out there waiting for her? As if that wouldn't have really turned violent very quickly? And yeah, the way the whole thing was made out to be nothing but a somewhat dickish prank. And hey, I'm pretty sure there WERE four guys in that apartment. What happened to the fourth. Rose just never got around to him?

[shoofus.livejournal.com]

rose got poofed before she got guy number four, alas...he is the dick that got away